Stop Being A Doormat And Learn To Put Yourself First


When you pour for yourself first, everyone gets a refill.

Whether or not you are a mother, you are a woman who nurtures. You are a woman who gives to others, either your friends, co-workers, children, aging parents, partners, spouses or all of the above. I invite you to take a moment to think about how you mother, love and care for yourself. It starts with you. When you care for your needs and don't leave them on the back burner to boil over, everyone will receive the ripple effect of your nurturing.

It starts with your cup. What is this cup I speak of? Your cup is your soul, the best version of you, your essence, the part of you that truly matters. This unique, beautiful, perfectly whole cup requires fuel to keep going so you don't burn out or are tempted to hop on the next eastbound train and take up with a trapeze artist. Not that there is anything wrong with taking up with a trapeze artist or joining a circus for that matter.

As a stay-at-home mom for nearly 13 years I know this:

  • When I do something that daily feeds my soul, not only do I like my role as mother, everyone in the household gets along, harmony is restored, and peace exists.
  • Giving and receiving are two opposite polarities that need each other.
  • You can't give from an empty cup. An empty cup = bitchy mama. You fill in the blank that applies—if not snarky, short tempered, yelling maniac, out of control neurotic lady, then perhaps sad, overwhelmed, fried.

Think of your cup having different needs. Four to be exact:

  1. Physical
  2. Mental
  3. Emotional
  4. Spiritual

Your already perfectly whole beautiful soul needs to be fueled authentically with thoughts, activities, actions and ways of being that fill you rather than deplete you. So that you have the capacity to pour for others you must take the time, make the efforts and move your feet forward toward that which gives you light, strength, energy to satisfy your deep hunger and thirst.

In my next blog, we will look at each of the four ways to refill. For today, if you are open, I invite you to ask yourself, "is this thing that I am doing, this thought I am having, this activity I am partaking in—does it feed my soul or drain it?

It all starts with awareness. Self-awareness. What rejuvenates you one day may not rejuvenate you the next. When you spend your energy refilling up with true cup fillers to your soul, everyone will notice, everyone will receive the benefits of your full cup. And possibly, just possibly, the next time you meet an obstacle that normally makes you want to run, you will stop fantasizing about hopping on the next eastbound train and you'll go do something that fills you to overflowing.


Explore YourTango