How to believe in love again.
A few years ago while abroad, I went through a very challenging relationship with a guy I was dating for only four months. This difficult relationship left me in this state of uncertainty, disappointment and distrust.
The extremely high levels of stress and challenges from the year before, paired with a lot of culture shocks, had simply worn me down into a state of feeling completely lost and uncertain of myself. I didn't have a lot of faith and trust in my own abilities. I feared going into any kind of new relationship because I felt like no matter how hard I'd try, I was just going to find myself in another terrible relationship.
If a new relationship opportunity arose, I'd experience a lot of worry over doing something wrong that would then put me on the train to stress, disappointment and feeling exhausted. I feared that my old behavior patterns were out of my control and that I was unable to really change them in the way I would need to be happy and experience genuine love.
For those of us who have been disappointed in relationships to the point that we're scared to date again, the problem isn't necessarily that we're scared of getting hurt again or even that we don't have faith in our own abilities. The problem is that we don't believe that we're worthy.
So here are three things we can do to break free from this fear and open our hearts again to a new relationship.
1. Admit to yourself what you really want.
When we've experienced a lot of heartbreak and disappointment, we try to convince ourselves that we don't really want a supportive and loving relationship. We do this because when we acknowledge it, we also have to acknowledge our pain and disappointment. It's easier to just ignore the whole thing and stuff those emotions deep within our being.
But the reality is that repressing those desires causes more pain than good. We have to admit that we truly want an amazing relationship filled with love. We can acknowledge our true desires by making an offering or intention. You can do this on your own with a candle, incense, by leaving a flower out in nature, or whatever else you wish.
2. Believe in your own abilities.
One of the biggest things is to realize that we're in control of what happens to us in our lives. This ability to have control over our lives isn't meant to be seen as intimidating or as something to worry about either — but as empowering. It's a matter of knowing that we have the power to transform our lives and manifest whatever it is our hearts desire.
Of course, we have to be easy on ourselves and understand that there's always a learning curve. We will always experience challenges along the way that will encourage us to grow, change and evolve. But the key is to allow ourselves to be excited and inspired by these challenges for growth, rather than to be worn down.
3. Connect to your inner miracle worker.
In order to have the love you desire, you can do a combination of things. For one, you can begin doing a daily affirmation every morning and night where you say out loud to yourself something like, "I'm attracting the love that I desire into my life" or "I'm attracting the perfect partner."
Another option is to do a guided meditation where you visualize yourself connecting to love. In the meditation, you can calm down and focus deeply on the breath. As you breathe, begin to envision yourself becoming surrounded by this comforting and loving sparkling white light. Breathe in the white light with each in breath, and exhale it out through your heart.
As you continue to breathe, you become a part of this loving white light more and more. Do this meditation on a daily basis in order to get re-centered and connect to the love that you desire to experience in your life.