If you're a woman who is successful in virtually all areas of life, you may think you should be able to find the same kind of success in love on your own. If you've been blaming or judging yourself for not having found love or thinking you should have known better, it’s not your fault. You were not educated and taught from an early age how to love and sustain a healthy romantic relationship.
Instead of being hard on yourself, be kind and forgiving. Understand that you have been doing the best you can with what you have known and what your experience with love has been.
Why you should work with a dating and relationship coach
- If you’re like most women, you’ve tried to solve your dating and romantic relationship dilemmas in these ways:
- On your own by reading books or Googling solutions to your problems
- Asking friends or family for their advice and opinion
- Looking for your partner to change
The challenges from taking this approach include:
- It's difficult to see your own blind spots.
- Putting what you read into practice takes time, focus and constant dedication – all difficult when wanting love now.
- The advice and opinion from family and friends are based on their experience and not necessarily the best answers for you.
- Someone else’s change isn’t the change to get you what you truly want.
It takes awareness, desire, the ability to make changes within, discipline and a good support system to change your love life for the better. A dating and relationship coach provides the container and structure that helps you positively transform yourself for having the love you desire and deserve.
As the saying goes, you can’t solve a problem with the same mind that created it. In trying to solve your problems, you will tend to look for the solution from your same mind. Instead of trying to figure things out on your own and hoping your love life will fall into place, consider working with a dating and relationship coach.
A dating and relationship coach will help you shift perspectives, open up to a different way of being and guide you towards your heart’s desire. This more direct route will let you experience things with more ease and enjoyment.
A dating and relationship coach will also help expand your comfort zone, provide you with specific practices, hold you accountable, help you stay on track and inspire you on your journey to true love.
When should you work with a dating and relationship coach?
When looking for a coach, it’s best to work with someone who has experienced what you are going through and has positively transformed his/her own love life.
Here are some specific scenarios that show when to work with a dating and relationship coach:
- You have tried what feels like everything to improve your love life and yet things are still the same or there is little improvement
- You are unable to keep yourself from being jaded and skeptical
- You keep attracting men who aren’t right for you
- You are continuing the same cycle of unsupportive habits and patterns
- You don’t have a healthy support system; loved ones are not welcoming or supporting your positive growth
- You want love but don’t how to go about getting this
- You are ready to take responsibility for the contributions you’ve made to your love life
- You are ready to move forward instead of dwelling on your past
- You are open to a professional’s perspectives, knowledge and resources
- You are ready to make changes from within
- You have gone through therapy and are still stuck
What it’s like to work with a dating and relationship coach
Coaching is a collaborative process in which the coach helps you define, speak out loud, and strategically move towards what you really want in your love life. It’s about taking you from where you are now and moving you forward. Coaching is about having someone on your team who is rooting for you to succeed on your own terms.
Working with a dating and relationship coach is like having your own personal trainer at the gym. A coach provides the equipment and environment for you to succeed. You have the coach’s resources and training to use, and it’s up to you to use them. A coach holds you accountable until you have the skills to love in a healthy way and maintain things the way you want them to be.
When you first start working with the dating and relationship coach, you may be skeptical and resistant. This is normal because you are being introduced to new ideas and stretching in areas that are beyond your comfort zone. As you stay the course, you learn about yourself in deeper ways. In time, the blinders are removed from your eyes and you see things for what they are, not what your mind has imagined them to be. The internal barriers that have been keeping you from love are replaced with supportive ways of being that are true to who you are.
After coaching with me, my clients feel confident and certain. They are opening their hearts once again to love and listening to their intuition with a clear mind and open heart. They feel worthy, inspired and hopeful about their love life. And ultimately, they find the love they’ve been looking for.
If you’ve tried to improve your love life, if love has been exhausting, and if you’re ready to take a more empowering approach, work with a dating and relationship coach. The investment you make will get your love life back on track and save you weeks, months and even years of frustration, disappointment and heartache.
More dating coach advice on YourTango:
- How I Became An Online Dating Coach
- 8 Modern Dating Rules Every Single Should Know
- Dating After Divorce? 3 Pitfalls To Avoid