How To Get Him Back Without Seeming Needy Or Desperate

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woman begging
Try this six-step approach to get your boyfriend back pronto.

If you're a woman who has tried to get your ex back, you've most likely taken the "desperate times call for desperate measures" approach, causing you to do all kinds of unfortunate things, including the walk of shame and the drunk dial. These unflattering behaviors render you his doormat, and ultimately push him away.

I know how excruciating it is when you still love him after your relationship ends. I've been the desperate woman who has tried unsuccessfully to get (a couple of) my exe(s) back. What I remember most is feeling insecure during the process and embarrassed about some of the things I did. My wake-up call in 2007 changed me for the better. 

In 2007, I experienced some big setbacks, including a breakup with a man I loved dearly. I was devastated, and deep inside sensed our relationship wasn't over. These setbacks helped me learn how to love myself. The more I loved myself, the less my desire to behave in desperate ways to get him back.  

My approach wasn't about initiating and worrying whether or not he would come back. It was about responding and having an inner-knowing that he would come back because he wanted to, while at the same time knowing that I would be fine if he didn't. This empowering, six-step approach led him back to me and made me his wife.

1. Don't disagree with why things ended. If he brings up the reasons why your relationship ended, don't disagree with him. Find the truth in what he's saying, acknowledge it and apologize for it. It's better to be happy and loved than to be right. Wanting to be right is your ego stepping in and overshadowing your soul's desire to be happy and loved.   

2. Don't try to convince him of all the reasons why he should come back to you. Trying to convince your ex why he should come back to you pushes him further away. It reinforces why he's better off without you because you appear needy and desperate. Needy and desperate are traits that will kill any attraction he may have for you.

Men are drawn to women who are happy with themselves. So, be happy, live your life and let your radiant energy cause him to second guess why you're not together. Remember, you are a prize. You should never have to convince him to be with you. Keep reading ...

More breakup advice from YourTango:

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Janet Ong Zimmerman

Relationship Coach

Relationship Coach for Successful Women

Co-Author of International Best Seller "Sexy Secrets to a Juicy Love Life"

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Location: Irvine, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support
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