Is my date really that busy? Why timing is everything plus 4 tips on how to woo a busy professional.
Have you ever dated someone who is always on the go? Maybe they were focused on their career, worked long hours or travelled a lot for work. Whatever the case may be, they had a full schedule and finding time to go on a date with them seems virtually impossible.
Before you count them out, here are some things you might want to take into consideration. When the economy tanked, the job market became unbelievably competitive. It caused a lot of people to shift their priorities and the mindset became to find a job, keep a job or become an entrepreneur. Though love has taken a backseat to employment and financial security, the need to find love is still there and there millions of professional singles out there who are looking for their perfect match.
Timing is everything, especially in dating and It takes a lot of patience and understanding to date a busy person. It’s definitely not for the needy or insecure and it takes a lot of work for both parties to build and nurture a romantic relationship. Although it’s a lot of work, it can be well worth your time if you see something special within that person.
If you are a busy professional, dating a busy professional or at least considering it, here are my top tips on how to make the most of your time together and make it work for you.
1. Start Off Casual
Take your time to feel the person out. Go on a number of coffee or lunch dates and get to know the person. Focus on the conversation and see if you can understand their lifestyle. Find ways in which you can relate to each other and make a connection. This will also give you an idea as to how busy your date really is and how open he or she really is to a relationship should the feelings develop.
Sometimes people will say they are busy, but really they are using it as an excuse to cover the fact that they are either afraid of commitment, really looking for booty call rather than a relationship or simply not that into you. Are You “Too Busy” To Find Love? [EXPERT]
Measure the level of exchange. Just because it’s casual doesn’t mean that there shouldn’t be a healthy level of give and take. After a few dates and conversations, you should have a better understanding as to if there is a genuine interest to connect on a romantic level versus a busy schedule being a symptom of reluctance. At that point, make a decision and see if this is something you want to explore.
2. Be Realistic
Should you decide to explore the relationship you want make sure you have a realistic expectation when you get started. If both parties are on the same page about moving forward you need to make sure all expectations are laid out on the table and discussed. Make sure you communicate your needs and you listen to theirs.
Also, make sure you honest about your comfort level. If the person is only available to see you on the weekends or is out of town on business for 2 weeks out of the month, are you going to be okay with that? Certain aspects of his or her career are not going to change anytime soon and you have to make sure you are prepared for that. If not, you may have to accept that this just isn’t the right time to try and start a relationship with this person and move on.
3. Make The Most of Your Time Together
For the early stages of dating, scheduling will be key. There are 24 hours in a day and sometimes, you have work to find ways to be more efficient with the time you do have available. The busy person has a clear understanding of the value of time so when you do have time together, focus on having fun and enjoying each other’s company.
Also make it a point to create exciting and memorable moments The more intimate, the better because this is time you can use to nurture the relationship that is forming. Not every date has to be extravagant and over the top. Simplicity can be bliss for someone who deals with high-pressure work environments. By now you should have an idea of some things that make him or her tick. Use it to your advantage and they will appreciate it. Let Your Mate Pick The Plan [EXPERT]
4. Use Technology
Dating someone who is constantly on the go can be hard. Thank heavens for cell phones and 4G because now you have almost every tool in your tech arsenal to bridge the gap. Text messages, pictures, video chat, instant message are all viable means of staying bridging the gap. Chances are that they are already using these tools for work so getting them to engage won’t be that difficult if they are considering making things work with you. 8 Do’s and Don’ts of Sexting [EXPERT]
Don’t underestimate the power of a phone call. Even if they can only chat for a little bit or if you have to leave a voicemail, hearing your voice can still put a smile on their face. At least you are making an effort and if the action is returned, you know that they making an effort with you.
Besides being a YourTango Dating Expert, J. Cameron Gantt is the Head Dating Coach at Insti(Gay)tor, a Chicago-based GLBT matchmaking agency. Need advice? Contact him directly via YourTango.com/experts or visit www.instigaytor.com for more info.