He Cheated - You Know - Now What Are You Going to Do?

By

He Cheated - You Know - Now What Are You Going to Do?
What can a reasonable woman do once her beloved spouse has crossed the line of infidelity?

He cheated. Now you know the truth.  What are you going to do?

All those little white lies and bigger and bigger lies he had been telling had you tied up in knots. You wanted so much to believe him, to trust that he was really faithful and just busy. You wanted so much to forgive him for neglecting you, letting you down, disappointing you because you felt he really has good intentions and he really loves you. You thought that if you just give him some time and space he will come back to his old loving self and your relationship will feel good again. You even rationalized that if, you actually discovered he was lying to you, that you might get angry but you could forgive and forget.

What a shock it must have been for you to discover that he really was lying to you, that your suspicions were real. How it must have hurt for you to finally understand that all that emotional turmoil you were feeling was not because you are insecure, inadequate or paranoid. You suspected something was not right and your gut was telling you so. Now you are faced with your own real life dilemma.

The question now is: Should I stay or should I go? Should I continue working toward improving our marriage or should I just give now, let go, and move on? How do you get back those loving feelings and a sense of security and trust after finding full evidence that your partner has cheated on you? What can he possibly say or do to gain back your sense of trust and loving adoration of him? What would it take for you to believe his words of praise and love for you? What would have to happen for you to once again feel like a beautiful, sexy and desirable woman, loved and cherished by her man for the rest of your life.

You are probably asking yourself so many questions that your mind is flooded with thoughts. Was our marriage so boring, uninteresting and monotonous? What does this other woman have that I don't have? Is she more beautiful, more worldy, more sophisticated? Is she a better lover? Does she stand up to him more or act vulnerable and innocent? What has she done to win his heart and lust and desire?

If you have not immediately thrown your husband out of the house or insisted that he pack up and leave, then you will probably be experiencing a living nightmare for the next few weeks, months or even years. Sometimes the painful war-like connection remains indefinitely with nobody actually filing for divorce. Sometimes the jealousy and rage seems to peak and fall, always lurking in the background about to explode.

Next: Steps to take once he's crossed the line...

More Juicy Content From YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Erica Goodstone

Author

I have the unique habit of caring about you and seeing your greatness when you may temporarily have blinders on. I will lovingly nudge you into a state of self-acceptance, self-appreciation and receptivity to the love of others.

My life's work is to help you create and allow healing and love in your life and all your relationships. You create healing in your body by removing impediments to your natural immune system functions. You create love in your relationships by accepting and appreciating the unique gifts that each and every person has to offer, and that includes YOU.

Find a Kindle Book about love, touch, healing, sexuality, spiritual reawakening and more.

Discover the 9 Love Secrets in Dr. Erica's interview by David Riklan from SelfGrowth.com

Schedule a private coaching or counseling session: DrEricaWellness.com

Hire Dr. Erica to speak at your next event:  DrEricaGoodstone.com

Visit my Blog: CreateHealingAndLoveNow.com/blog

Like my Facebook Page: HealingThroughLove

Get your FREE RELATIONSHIP SUCCESS REPORT:DrEricaWellness.com


 

Location: Boca Raton, FL
Credentials: LMFT, LMHC, LPC, MA, MFT, NCC, Other, PhD
Other Articles/News by Dr. Erica Goodstone:

Sex and Love Are Not New This Valentine's Day

By

Sorry to disappoint you, but love is not new.  You did not invent sex and you are not the first person to experience love or to discover a certain sexual position or a specific way to please your partner.  Believe it or not, whatever you can imagine, conceive, or indulge in, you are not the first person to do this. I had the pleasure of being on a ... Read more

Give The Gift Of Love

By

"LOVE" is the most precious gift we can give to anyone at any time.  Far more valuable than the most expensive diamond, the most exotic vacation, the most luxurious home or the most sporty and powerful automobile.  With love as the basis, of couse, all of these gifts would probably be most welcome.  But without love as the foundation, ... Read more

On the 12th Day of Loving

By

Are you in a relationship where you feel an accumulation of little hurts, not one big hurt but many little ones?  Notice how the little hurts build slowly.  Relationship intimacy builds with every caring, sensitive and open communication.  And it is quite fragile, requiring consistent nurturing.   On the 1st day of loving my true ... Read more

See More

GET MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS IN YOUR INBOX!

Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

FROM AROUND THE WEB