He Cheated - You Know - Now What Are You Going to Do?

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He Cheated - You Know - Now What Are You Going to Do?
What can a reasonable woman do once her beloved spouse has crossed the line of infidelity?

He cheated. Now you know the truth.  What are you going to do?

All those little white lies and bigger and bigger lies he had been telling had you tied up in knots. You wanted so much to believe him, to trust that he was really faithful and just busy. You wanted so much to forgive him for neglecting you, letting you down, disappointing you because you felt he really has good intentions and he really loves you. You thought that if you just give him some time and space he will come back to his old loving self and your relationship will feel good again. You even rationalized that if, you actually discovered he was lying to you, that you might get angry but you could forgive and forget.

 

What a shock it must have been for you to discover that he really was lying to you, that your suspicions were real. How it must have hurt for you to finally understand that all that emotional turmoil you were feeling was not because you are insecure, inadequate or paranoid. You suspected something was not right and your gut was telling you so. Now you are faced with your own real life dilemma.

The question now is: Should I stay or should I go? Should I continue working toward improving our marriage or should I just give now, let go, and move on? How do you get back those loving feelings and a sense of security and trust after finding full evidence that your partner has cheated on you? What can he possibly say or do to gain back your sense of trust and loving adoration of him? What would it take for you to believe his words of praise and love for you? What would have to happen for you to once again feel like a beautiful, sexy and desirable woman, loved and cherished by her man for the rest of your life.

You are probably asking yourself so many questions that your mind is flooded with thoughts. Was our marriage so boring, uninteresting and monotonous? What does this other woman have that I don't have? Is she more beautiful, more worldy, more sophisticated? Is she a better lover? Does she stand up to him more or act vulnerable and innocent? What has she done to win his heart and lust and desire?

If you have not immediately thrown your husband out of the house or insisted that he pack up and leave, then you will probably be experiencing a living nightmare for the next few weeks, months or even years. Sometimes the painful war-like connection remains indefinitely with nobody actually filing for divorce. Sometimes the jealousy and rage seems to peak and fall, always lurking in the background about to explode.

Next: Steps to take once he's crossed the line...

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Dr. Erica Goodstone

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I have the unique habit of caring about you and seeing your greatness when you may temporarily have blinders on. I will lovingly nudge you into a state of self-acceptance, self-appreciation and receptivity to the love of others.

My life's work is to help you create and allow healing and love in your life and all your relationships. You create healing in your body by removing impediments to your natural immune system functions. You create love in your relationships by accepting and appreciating the unique gifts that each and every person has to offer, and that includes YOU.

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Location: Boca Raton, FL
Credentials: LMFT, LMHC, LPC, MA, MFT, NCC, Other, PhD
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