On being deeply nourished

By

On being deeply nourished
Third in a series for YourTango on "Slow Sex" author Nicole Daedone


In her book Slow Sex:  The Art and Craft of the Female Orgasm, Nicole Daedone describes how a woman can develop her capacity for sexual attention by a rather unusual technique:  simply focusing without distraction, for 15 minutes, while her partner strokes the upper left quadrant of her clitoris.   

It's a practice that has caused considerable controversy in sex therapy circles, for a variety of reasons.   But Daedone has attracted a devoted following of individuals and couples seeking to cross beyond the ordinary boundaries of erotic life.

The following is a continuation of our recent conversation in New York:

Nicole, when I first read in The New York Times about what you have people do –repetitive stroking of a woman’s clitoris – I thought, “Oh no, not that goal-oriented thing again that gets so many couples in trouble.” But in your book Slow Sex, you make it clear that it’s not that at all. It’s not intended to produce a sexual climax. Or even to get a person sexually excited, in the conventional sense.

Yeah, that confuses a lot of people.

Well, if you call a practice “Orgasmic Meditation,” people are going to assume it’s about having plain old fashioned orgasms. Why’d you name it that, if that’s not what’s going on?

I could have made up a new term, rather than used “orgasm.” But a lot of people in the field do that. They come up with some catchy new phrase. I wanted something deeper, darker, that would be big enough to describe the practice.

So you decided you’d claim the word “orgasm” and use it to mean something else?

I “reclaimed” it. I scooped out the old meaning, and then began putting in new meaning.
Climax is a fleeting moment. When I use the word “orgasm,” I mean something much bigger – the body’s total ability to receive and respond to pleasure.

Keep reading...

More Juicy Content From YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Stephen Snyder

Psychiatrist/MD

Copyright Stephen Snyder, MD    www.sexualityresource.com

Dr Snyder is a New York City sex + relationship therapist, Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at Mt Sinai School of Medicine, and a New York Magazine Best Doctor.  Be sure to follow Dr Snyder on Google+ and Twitter

Location: New York, NY
Credentials: MD
Other Articles/News by Dr. Stephen Snyder:

On going to the place of pure feeling

By

Slow Sex author Nicole Daedone says she first learned the technique she now calls “Orgasmic Meditation” (OM) from someone who’d learned if from someone else -- but that she’s not sure who really started it.  As she recounts in her recent TEDx talk, a man she met at a party in San Francisco asked her to let him introduce her to ... Read more

Slow Sex, and the art of eating a tomato

By

  Not far into her book Slow Sex:  The Art and Craft of the Female Orgasm, Nicole Daedone recounts the story of the first time she ever tasted a home-grown heirloom tomato. She was ten years old, and recalls that she'd previously known tomatoes only as things to be sliced and put on a plate. But this was different -- "I bit in and I ... Read more

Sex Therapy: Is "Destination therapy" right for you?

By

All things considered, the mental health profession comes off pretty well in this year's new sex movie Hope Springs. Marriage therapist and author Dr Bernard Feld, played by Steve Carell, is a fairly nice specimen by Hollywood standards. He’s likeable, intelligent, confident-but-not-a-shmuck, and commits no flagrant boundary violations. You get ... Read more

See More

GET MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS IN YOUR INBOX!

Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Stories we love
FROM AROUND THE WEB