50 Things You Should Try For Hotter Sex

Why You Should Keep Your Affair To Yourself


Why You Should Keep Your Affair To Yourself [EXPERT]
Honesty isn't always the best policy.
Telling your spouse that you cheated may not be the best idea after all.

Should you always tell the truth about infidelity to your spouse? Is honesty always the best policy? Many might think the answer is obviously yes, but they'd be mistaken.

More from YourTango: 50 Ways To Improve Your Sexual Connection Tonight

The reason why husbands, wives, girlfriends, and boyfriends often purge themselves of their secrets is totally selfish and often unproductive. It's a way to attempt to relieve their own guilt. Once the secret is out, the regret for spilling it often follows quickly — not necessarily due to the emotional upset and chaos that occurs, but because of the realization that nothing good has come of it for anyone. 10 Signs A Woman Is Cheating: Do They Ring True To You?

Assuming the affair has ended and you know that's for the best, here's the question to ask yourself: "Will it truly help my relationship if I tell all?" If you have an idealistic image of being thanked by your significant other for being honest, think again. 4 Dating Deal Breakers [VIDEO]

More from YourTango: 10 Unhealthy Relationship Patterns (And How To Break Them!)

The other person might outwardly (eventually) thank you for the honesty and say they're glad they know, but then they may not be able to move forward and forgive you. That might be the end of the relationship. If you feel that's the risk that must be taken, then go ahead and share all. However, if you check yourself and find that it's simply an attempt to unload your own burden, then you might want to reconsider. 3 Mistakes Women Make When They Suspect Cheating

Like any other situation in life, it's impossible to know in advance what will feel right until you're in the situation. What's important to remember is that there are no absolutes — what feels right in the moment might surprise you.  

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Shoshana Bennett, Ph.D.


Clinical Psychologist

Shoshana Bennett, Ph.D. (Dr. Shosh) specializes in moods during pregnancy and postpartum. She works through phone and other technologies with women and their partners worldwide.

The DrShosh.com Radio Show can be heard on her website and callers receive free advice!

Download the free app PPD Gone! A great resource for those in need of support, guidance, or simply a little encouragement.

Get Dr. Shosh's books here.

Follow Dr. Shosh on Facebook and Twitter @DrShosh and LinkedIn


Location: Bodega Bay, CA
Credentials: PhD
Other Articles/News by Dr. Shoshana Bennett, Ph.D.:

Should You Nix These 'Dirty Words' From Your Parenting Vocab?


Not too long ago, a parent who didn't set firm rules, tell her children to behave themselves or punish them when they acted out was thought to be an irresponsible parent. Now, in contrast, some of the most popular and commonly used words in parenting are considered to be off limits for the up-to-date and discerning parent. When did these words become, well, ... Read more

6 Important Ways To Help Your Partner Cope With Grief


When your partner suffers a major loss, it is an opportunity for the two of you to grow closer, whether the relationship is new or well-seasoned.  However, if handled insensitively (no matter how well-intentioned), the opposite can easily occur, and a wedge between you will grow instead. Here are six basic do's and don'ts to keep in mind when ... Read more

Telling Your Husband You Have Breast Cancer


Telling your loved ones of your recent diagnosis of cancer is difficult. Having been in this scenario quite recently, I can tell you from the inside out—it is a challenge. First, you're dealing with your own emotions about the diagnosis. Second, it's hard not to try and take care of and feel responsible for your spouse's reaction.  It ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts

Kegel Exercises For Men? A New Study Reveals All!

A new study reveals the sexual benefits of Kegel exercises for men: here's how to get started!

Jump For Joy

Live Out Loud

If you ask me what I came into this life to do, I will tell you: I came to live out ...

Problems In The Bedroom

Has the Three Year Itch Become the New Seven Year Itch?

There has been an exponential increase in the number of people who are questioning their marriage.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>