Why You Should Keep Your Affair To Yourself


Why You Should Keep Your Affair To Yourself [EXPERT]
Telling your spouse that you cheated may not be the best idea after all.

Should you always tell the truth about infidelity to your spouse? Is honesty always the best policy? Many might think the answer is obviously yes, but they'd be mistaken.


The reason why husbands, wives, girlfriends, and boyfriends often purge themselves of their secrets is totally selfish and often unproductive. It's a way to attempt to relieve their own guilt. Once the secret is out, the regret for spilling it often follows quickly — not necessarily due to the emotional upset and chaos that occurs, but because of the realization that nothing good has come of it for anyone. 10 Signs A Woman Is Cheating: Do They Ring True To You?

Assuming the affair has ended and you know that's for the best, here's the question to ask yourself: "Will it truly help my relationship if I tell all?" If you have an idealistic image of being thanked by your significant other for being honest, think again. 4 Dating Deal Breakers

The other person might outwardly (eventually) thank you for the honesty and say they're glad they know, but then they may not be able to move forward and forgive you. That might be the end of the relationship. If you feel that's the risk that must be taken, then go ahead and share all. However, if you check yourself and find that it's simply an attempt to unload your own burden, then you might want to reconsider. 3 Mistakes Women Make When They Suspect Cheating

Like any other situation in life, it's impossible to know in advance what will feel right until you're in the situation. What's important to remember is that there are no absolutes — what feels right in the moment might surprise you.  

Article contributed by

Dr. Shoshana Bennett, Ph.D.


Clinical Psychologist

Shoshana Bennett, Ph.D. (Dr. Shosh) specializes in moods during pregnancy and postpartum. She works through phone and other technologies with women and their partners worldwide.

The DrShosh.com Radio Show can be heard on her website and callers receive free advice!

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Location: Bodega Bay, CA
Credentials: PhD
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