If you like indulging in pagan rituals, the autumnal equinox as a symbol of the harvest, or digging into those urges to honor the real meaning of Halloween (to help spirits transition to the other side), then you are in for a treat. Instead of dancing around in feathers at a goddess retreat, for a true pagan holiday on October 31, perhaps you enjoy engaging in a more mundane pattern, like flossing your teeth, making the sign of the cross when you enter a church, or brushing your darling's hair before bed. Then again, maybe you like to revisit the "City of Lights" and speak French once a year while munching on a fresh baguette in a chic cafe. Yes, any way you like it, you enjoy rituals, and each season we can discover ritual-making opportunities for your sexuality, as well.
Here is a sexuality ritual to try each fall, which to me is the beginning of the new year (think school bells and new plaid short skirts!):
- Give thanks. Think about what you are grateful for this past year about your own sexuality. Write a list of at least five things for which you feel gratitude and appreciation. Keep an active appreciation board on your kitchen wall or fridge to keep the flow of appreciations back and forth in your relationships going strong.
- Acknowledge yourself. Did you take a risk with someone new this year and have first-time sex? Did you ask your beloved to share in a sacred moment of orgasm while listening to the holy tunes of chanting monks?
- Challenge yourself. Would you repeat the disclosure of your deepest fantasies with your honey? Are you willing to try a new position, even if it makes your belly stick out or your top half droop? Is this the year to lose those 30 extra pounds that make it tough on your self image when the lights are on in bed?
- Treat yourself. Is this the moment to love yourself, to buy a new set of silk pajamas, or to be bold enough to make that home sex videotape after all for posterity?
- Do it now. If you are alone or with a partner of 20 years or 2 dates, it doesn’t matter. Your journey as a sexual being begins again when you wake up tomorrow morning and decide to go for it: To grow, to explore, to expand, to shine the light on those dark places of your sexual soul and to dare to be more than before. I share the journey with you and know that you can do it!
- Dream into tomorrow. Make a list of how and where you want to grow your sexual experience. Be bold, be brave, be specific and have fun. If you are partnered, share your dreams with your partner. Recreate the original spark and excitement. If you are single, forgive yourself and then move toward new horizons.
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