I BelieveYour sexuality is your divine birthright. Let me help you find the tools, techniques, and strategies to celebrate your sexual self!
About Patti Britton
I’ve been a leader in the field of sexology with an emphasis on sexual enhancement for over 35 years. In the span of over 3 decades, I’ve gained invaluable experience working with many types of situations; from people of all ages and demographics suffering from a range of sexual or relationship concerns to real sexual dysfunctions or breakdowns…or just plain stuck at the “sexless” or “no touch” stage. I’ve been a professor and trainer for 35+ years, a sex educator, a counselor, and I am a pioneer in the new growing field known as Sex Coaching. In 2005, I authored the very first book on sex coaching, The Art of Sex Coaching: Expanding Your Practice that serves as the foundation for my own global online training institute at SexCoachU.com. I’ve been blessed to impact the lives of thousands of individuals and couples through several group-level sexual enrichment programs, as well as numerous media appearances on national TV, magazines, and sex education conferences.
My passion for helping others overcome sexual challenges began with a strong desire and commitment to heal myself. I too have felt the pain of a sexless relationship, loved and lost, overcome the shifting tides of cultural norms around sex and gender, coped with the ravages of living in the body of a 55+ postmenopausal woman. Having lost a daughter to HIV/AIDS in 2004, I learned what it takes to move from grief and shame and into living life FULL OUT. I’ve done the dating and long-term relationship thing and know what it means to have true authentic intimate relating and sexual ecstasy. I’ve studied from the top gurus in the world on sex, life, love, and pursuit of happiness, and now I’m living my passion by helping others find their own joy and ecstasy in connection with themselves and others. It’s an experience I wouldn’t trade for anything.
Beyond all the formal education and training, I think of myself as a healer with an intuitive gift when it comes to the nature of our sexual being. As a sex coach, I become a container for others to heal, learn, grow and expand. That’s why I do what I do; it’s an honor to create a unique opportunity for others to heal and discover their true sexual potential
Patti Britton Success Stories
Using a releasing ritual for this couple to find love again
I wanted to share a story with you about the power of rituals. I love rituals myself; I once did my own personal ritual of "calling forth a husband" and within two weeks I met the love of my life. He's still here ten years later. So I am a living testimonial that rituals can work.more
As a clinical sexologist and a holistic sex coach, I believe that using the five elements of sexuality (and relationships) can direct the work with clients. My model for assessing where a client is "stuck" and how to move them toward their ultimate sexual/relationship goals is known as MEBES: Mind, Emotions, Body/Body image and Behaviors, Energy and Spirit. Often by focusing in on the spirit or energetic aspects of our work together, miracles do happen.
Here is one example:
We'll call them Fred and Laura. They were in a 10-year marriage with 2 school-aged children and came to me with a desparate story. They had been fighting all the time. They felt stress about working too much, stress over his not earning money, stress over her being the sole provider, and complained about the absence of anything reminiscent of sexual contact in their lifestyle. They even stopped sensually or affectionately touching each other. Sex really had fallen off their radar screen. By the time they came to me for help, things were pretty bad and constant conflict was the rule of the day.
I suggested that perhaps we begin with the usual history-taking most competent sexologists or sex therapists would do, along with getting a clear picture of what were the interpersonal and individual blockages for this relationship. The list included the usual suspects, but we focused on their unresolved anger, resentments, poor sexual communication, lack of desire, and avoiding touch. Their uneven styles for sexually staying aroused also were contributing factors. And, like many of my couple clients, they were workaholics! Even though he wasn't employed and she was the source of high income, he was always busy at some project. She traveled a lot and he was always on the phone, at a computer or at another meeting. The kids were on auto-pilot, too.
You get the drift: They were zooming around, taking care of what needed to be done, but never spending time on just "BEING" a couple.
So, it appeared that until they were able to clear some of the obstacles with me, nothing would change. Boy, was that the truth. It took a 3-hour ritual on a mountaintop in a sacred ceremony that I created and led for them, to help them to let go of the stuck past.
They used one of my favorite techniques, the Balloon Releasing Ritual. Here is how it is done: Write down on post-it's what you want to let go of in your life (sexlessness, fear, anger, negative body image, lack of forgiving each other, avoiding affectionate touch, workaholism....) and put these little notes, one at a time, into the mouth of a balloon (I bring all the materials); blow into it, tie it at the ends and then....whoosh, release it into the air while stating the obvious. It went something like this: "I, Fred, now release our sexless marriage..." Or "I, Laura, now release workaholism..." And after sending off a battalion of about seven, shiny, beautifully colored balloons each, and incanting positive statements about what they wanted instead, they sat on the sandy knoll and wept. Together. Holding each other tight. We all held hands as we marched our way down the winding sandy trail to the parking lot. I gave them instructions for what to do next. But that's another story.
They told me, a week later, that life had changed for them that day. They let go of that wall; they felt lightness and hope. They made love that night for over an hour and wrote me a personal thank you note that said, "Thanks, Dr. Patti, for being an angel, and helping us let go of our baggage! We love each other so much. We couldn't have done it without you. Love, Fred and Laura."
Sometimes I smile when I read notes like this, knowing that it is the power of rituals that helped this couple to heal.
Love, Dr. Patti