Ending Relationships Gracefully

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walking away
Is the fear of hurting someone keeping you from ending your relationship?

In my counseling practice, I often hear the question, "How do I end a relationship without hurting someone's feelings?" Whether it's a romantic relationship or a friendship, ending it gracefully is generally a challenge.

The problem arises because so many people see it as a reflection of their worth when someone doesn't want to be with them. "If I was good enough, this person would want to be with me, so there must be something wrong with me." Do You Talk Down To Yourself?

 

There is another way to see this. The way I see it is that for each of us there is a relatively small number of people with whom we feel a deep connection. Whether you want to explain this as being part of the same soul group in the spiritual realm, or to having similar energies, or to chemistry, the fact is that we don't feel connected to most people. Just because I don't connect with someone doesn't mean there is anything wrong with them. Just because you don't feel drawn to spend time with someone doesn't mean there is anything wrong with that person, and just because someone doesn't connect with you doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you. It's just the way things are, and it has nothing to do with there being anything wrong with anyone.

So if I say to someone, "I don't feel a strong connection between us," I am simply stating a fact. I am not making a judgment about the person's adequacy or worth. 3 Steps To Strengthen Your Love Connection

All of us meet perfectly wonderful people with whom we just don't feel a connection. The person might be very attractive, have similar interests to us and even be on a similar growth path or spiritual path, yet we just don't connect. The spark that ignites friendship or romance just doesn't exist. If we could all accept that someone not wanting to be with us has nothing to do with our worth, we wouldn't get hurt when someone says no to a relationship.

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This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
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Dr. Margaret Paul

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Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process - featured on Oprah, and recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Take our FREE Inner Bonding course, and click here for a FREE CD/DVD relationship offer. Visit our website at innerbonding.com for more articles and help, as well as our Facebook Page. Phone and Skype sessions available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

Location: Pacific Palisades, CA
Credentials: PhD
Specialties: Anxiety Issues, Couples/Marital Issues, Depression
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