Although it's possible that you need to go to yet another ten stores to try on dresses, the reasons why you just can't seem to find the right dress may have nothing to do with dress shopping at all. Here are the top four reasons for your dress drama:
1. You are trying to be the "perfect bride". The most likely reason for your dissatisfaction with dress shopping has nothing to do with the dress at all. It is likely that you want to portray the image of the "perfect bride." Engaged? 3 Ways To Tame An Overbearing Mother
Perfectionism can easily rear its ugly head during wedding planning because orchestrating a wedding calls for paying attention to the tiniest of details. However, the dress can be a particular source of wedding related perfectionism because it is a tangible object that double-dog-dares for you to get wrong. Many brides recoil in horror at the thought of going down the aisle in the "wrong" dress and regretting it for the rest of their lives.
The way to manage this situation is to engage in some realistic self-talk. Remind yourself that you will not have a perfect wedding (no such thing exists) and you will not be a perfect bride (she doesn't exist either).
2. The dress is symbolic of your upcoming marriage. Here is a close cousin of the "perfect bride" syndrome. You may be falling into the common trap of thinking (mainly unconsciously), "If I don’t find the perfect dress, then I won't have the perfect wedding. And if I don’t have the perfect wedding, then I won't have the perfect marriage." So, you may be focusing on finding the perfect dress in order to try and attain the unrealistic goal of having a perfect wedding (therefore an ideal marriage).
This realization is enough to bring even the calmest of brides to a therapist's couch for premarital counseling. However, the way to work through this on your own is by engaging in some serious premarital education. Read books on building a healthy marriage or find alternative ways of learning how handle typical marital problems. Most importantly, create a mantra around telling yourself that your wedding is definitely not a refection of your marriage. 3 Simple Steps For Lasting Love
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