Mothers all over the world have been taking control of weddings since weddings began. Often times, it is one of the last "parenting" roles that mothers provide. As a result, some mothers take everything a bit too far and end up hijacking the wedding planning process. Although it seems like a daunting task, there are several effective strategies for dealing with this sensitive issue. What Women Wish They'd Known Before Marriage
First, identify possible causes. Your mother controlling the wedding may be due to one of three problems: Either you have not been successful in asserting yourself as a fully competent adult; you have an overly close (or enmeshed) relationship with your mother; your mother is simply providing much of the funding related to this wedding, therefore she wants to control how her money is being spent.
Here are the corresponding solutions:
1. Demonstrate that you are an adult. If you have yet to become somewhat of an "equal" in your mother's eyes (within reason, of course), now is the perfect time to work on this rather confining dynamic. Essentially, your task will involve gently but firmly asserting yourself with your mother and demonstrating that you are a competent adult.
Asserting yourself will take some practice and work. Demonstrating that you are a competent adult means not reverting back to child when you are interacting with your mother (easier said than done at times) and garnering her respect by making sound decisions and following through with your promises.
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