How 'The Law Of Attraction' Can Save Your Sex Life


man dipping woman into a kiss by water
Do you know "the secret?"
Plus: seven steps to make the new year sizzle!

Do you know "the secret?" Oprah claims she does ... and so do millions of others around the world who are fascinated with the "law of attraction." It's a new year, and there's no better time than right now to take a long look at how this knowledge can enliven your life, love and sexuality.

In her bestselling book The Secret, author Ronda Byrne draws upon expert anecdotes and borrowed bits of quantum theory to suggest that the law of attraction (LoA, for short) enables us to have everything we want in life if we understand its rules. I'm not sure the law is quite as all-encompassing as Byrne implies, but I do trust that you can bring greater zest and promise to your love and sex life by taking its lessons to heart. I'll explain precisely how in a moment … but first we need to understand the LoA.

More from YourTango: Secrets to Making Romantic Holiday Dreams Come True

Years ago, I had a powerful dream, long before the LoA was part of popular culture. Although I could only recall a snippet when I awoke, its key message permanently altered my awareness. In my dream, a wise woman handed me a gift. "Here is the key to your life," she said. "Remember this: You will get what you appreciate."

The key to life?! Now, that's pretty darn intense for a dream. I was so struck by it that upon awakening I immediately wrote down the phrase. For a long time afterward I puzzled over what those words, "you get what you appreciate," could actually mean, and how to make use of them.

It was years before I could fully comprehend the true power of "appreciate" or had seen enough evidence of how the "law of appreciation" works to embrace it. I finally grasped that "appreciation" had nothing to do with casual admiration or even gratitude. Rather, to appreciate is to attend completely to an idea or a concept, and to sustain focus through one's thoughts, actions and senses. 

Let me give you an example: Imagine that a friend constantly talks about how much she wishes she could meet the right partner, yet always finds fault with whomever she does meet. One might think that "relationship" is her focus — but it isn't. In fact, loneliness is her focus.

More from YourTango: Secrets to Making Romantic Holiday Dreams Come True

She "appreciates" loneliness and lack of love with every conversation, every rumination, every treatise on her failure to meet Mr. Right. Is it really just a coincidence that she keeps drawing more of the same? Or how about the friend who complains endlessly about trying to lose weight and just gets fatter. Could it be that she puts all her energy into attending to the presence of fat? Keep Reading ...

More sex advice from YourTango:

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Recent Expert Posts

Put Your Relationship on a Diet Free of Blame and Criticism

Replace the blame and criticism in your relationship with heartfelt gratitude and appreciations.


Why You'll Never Meet The Right Partner

Give up the search - and figure out how to actually create love instead.

Trouble In Paradise

The Honeymoon Is Over

Making marriage work post honeymoon phase

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>