Why Jealousy Runs Rampant Among Lesbians

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two women one crying one consoling
Are you a jealous lesbian?

Let's discuss the green-eyed, insidious relationship monster known as jealousy. There are varying degrees of it, and some are healthy, but others can lead you down the road to disappointment and singledom.

Maybe it's the gentle familiarity your girlfriend and her best friend share, the curious spark in her eyes when she looks at other women or the glowing admiration she oozes when speaking about her co-worker. Whatever the trigger might be, your eyes grow greener with jealousy until you are a dish of wobbly, lime green jelly. Does this scenario ring true?

We all feel jealous from time to time, but do you find your thoughts, emotions, and behavior engulfed by feelings of anger, frustration, and yearning for your partner's attention? Many times, people feel this way when they fear that their partner will leave them for someone else. Jealousy can turn strong relationships into fragmented unions, especially when "normal" jealousy crosses over into an unhealthy territory.    

As lesbians, we have an extra layer of jealousy many straight couples don't have to deal with. Welcome! Isn't it great to have yet another layer of complicity as a member of this little lesbian club? For instance, what happens when we want "girl time" without our partner?

Lesbians often struggle not to merge lives with their partner. Wanting time away from your partner is natural, healthy and important to sustain a balanced relationship. Many women struggle with ways to walk the tightrope when telling their partner that they want time with the "girls" — but not their girlfriend.

Lesbians are a small community, which means we have more history (read: romantic encounters) with a smaller group of people. At times it's hard to go out and not see someone who we used to date or have a romantic relationship with. Keep Reading ...

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This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
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