4 Rules For Dating A Nerd

By Dr. Christie Hartman. Posted on Nov 7th 2012.

Plus: why you should watch 'The Hunger Games' together.

So you've met yourself a great guy. But after a few dates, you begin to realize he's not like the other guys you've dated. He's smart; he's a little shy; he's quirky; and he loves science fiction, online gaming, comic books, or other related pursuits. In other words, he's a nerd.

While nerds often make great partners (in fact, many of us in the dating business consider them the unsung heroes of the single male demographic), women tend to overlook them. Thus, when a woman decides to give a nerd a chance, she may find herself in uncharted territory.

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As a scientist and closet nerd, I've known my share of nerdy men. They're great guys, but if you aren't accustomed to being around them, here are a few things you can do to ensure success.

1. Appreciate him. When some women date nerds, they tend to focus on the "negative" side of his nerd-dom (e.g. his logging in long hours online gaming or his dressing up like Frodo every Halloween). Instead, focus on his intelligence, faithfulness, and other great traits. Moreover, while nerd-dom has become mainstream (even cool), it didn't used to be, and many a nerd grew up suffering at the hands of dumb guys or b*tchy girls.

To succeed with him, show him you aren't one of those people and that he's awesome the way he is. Is he smart? Computer savvy? Well-employed? Good in the sack? Make sure he knows you recognize what makes him great!

2. Never knock his nerdy tastes. Sure, the Star Wars posters or long days spent at Comic Con may seem silly to you, but everyone has unique interests that other people don't "get." And, really, how are a nerd's interests any different from a non-nerdy guy's obsession with Fantasy Football or baseball cards? To belittle or make fun of his hobbies is to belittle him and sends the message that he isn’t good enough the way he is.

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Instead, give him free reign to be quirky. If you do, he's more likely to zip his lip when it comes to your giant shoe collection or your secret addiction to The Real Housewives of New York.

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Christie Hartman, PhD
Author, Behavioral Scientist, and Dating Expert
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Location: Denver, CO

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Website: http://christiehartman.com/

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