10 Things Sociopaths Take From The Most Vulnerable People, According To Psychology
Protect yourself by knowing what the sociopath is seeking.
What do sociopaths want from their romantic partners? Often, the answer is money — but sometimes it isn't. My conman ex-husband took $227,000 from me, cheated with multiple women, and took money from them, as well, totaling more than $1 million.
But, some sociopaths lie, cheat, and abuse, but don't take money. This makes their partners wonder — are they a sociopath? If the sociopath isn't in it for money (i.e., they pay for everything with no access to your accounts), then what are other reasons to stay in a relationship if they don't live with you or share anything financially?
This is what you need to know: If a sociopath has targeted you, it's because you have something they want. Often it's money, but not always.
Here are 10 things sociopaths take from the most vulnerable people, according to psychology:
1. Physical intimacy
Sociopaths crave stimulation, and physical intimacy is highly stimulating, so they pursue it, as supported by research from Cambridge University on the sociobiology of sociopathy. However, sociopaths aren't controlled by their physical urges. They often use intimacy primarily as a tool of manipulation to get something else they want.
2. Services, chores, and time
Sociopaths may want you to do something for them they don't want to do for themselves, such as cooking, cleaning, and taking care of children.
3. Housing and other comforts
Even if sociopaths don't directly ask for money, they may suggest living together. They may say it's because they love you, when, in fact, they have no place to go.
4. Entertainment and access to others
Perhaps you're part of an exciting social scene. The sociopath may want to be with you just to gain access to the people you know.
5. Status upgrades
Hanging out with you may be good for their image, especially if you're rich, famous, successful, or competent. A study from the American Psychological Association on sociopaths in leadership helps us understand how your status boosts their status.
6. Enhancements to their image
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Perhaps the sociopath needs a partner like you to complete the image they want to present to the company or community.
For example, they might want to appear to be a family-oriented person, such as appearing to be a doting mother or proud father, when in reality, they could care less about you and the kids.
7. Cover for their hidden agenda
Your presence may help them get away with a hidden agenda. You may be providing cover for the sociopath to pursue a double life of sex, drugs, or crime.
8. Connections for further exploitation
Sociopaths may use you, your skills, and your connections to pursue their grandiose dreams or entrepreneurial plans, as supported by a study on organizational sociopaths.
9. One's heart and sense of pride
Sociopaths enjoy getting over on people — this is called "duping delight." They often manipulate, deceive, and use people just for the fun of it. Some will seduce targets just so they can break their hearts.
10. One's human equality
Sociopaths feed on power and control, so they sometimes pursue domination for its own sake. They want to prove themselves to be more powerful than you, perhaps even powerful enough to destroy you. If a sociopath targets you, it's because they see you as useful in some way. Once you are no longer useful, you'll be dumped.
Donna Andersen is a writer and author who offers advice on escape and recovery from sociopaths, psychopaths, or narcissists. She has appeared on TV shows like ABC 20/20 and The Ricki Lake Show, as well as in digital and print media publications like Psychology Today, Marie Claire, Thought Catalog, and Daily Mail.