First off, let me say that in all my years, there has never been an old girlfriend/wife that I’ve ever taken back, but one. My philosophy – tried it, it didn't work, move on. Then came my last girlfriend. We met in the fall of 2007. I was enamored from the first sight. Yes, I thought she was physically attractive, but her inner beauty glowed brighter than ten suns. I fell in love.
I saw in her so much good, so much potential, so much love she gave to others. She inspired me to be a better person. We had many great times, but the true tests of a relationship are the times when our inner glow turns dark.
As I look back on why we broke up, sometimes it was situational (she was from another country and had via issues), other times it was personality traits (our own egos or baggage), and the last time, it was a relationship boundary that was crossed and finally ended the relationship. Reflecting on this experience gave me a lot of insight as to why we mended our relationship so many times; why it was diffrent from my other relationships. And it gave me insight into how a great relationship can be created.
Coupling my personal experience with information about men I’ve learned through my business - helping over a hundred men deal with the impacts of divorce (commonly the feelings of loss and wanting her back are discussed) - I’ve developed five steps to win your man back.
And to set the renewed relationship in the right direction, I’ll conclude with the four universal relationship truths needed for a strong, healthy relationship.
Five Steps to Win Your Man Back
Step 1: Be truthful to you. Do you really want him back, or are you trying to fill a self-worth void within you? Was he really good to you in the first place? Did he support you? Did he make you a better person? Did he inspire you? When fights occurred, was he respectful? Was he abusive in some way? If you can honestly answer this question “Yes, I want him back because he treated me well” then proceed to Step 2.
Step 2: Take resposibility. What caused the split? Was it a heavy moralistic lapse that cannot be salvaged (having an affair, stealing, lying) or was it more about harsh words that came out during the heat of the moment? Also, look how you contributed to the conflict or issue. Have you owned up to it? Are you working to change or improve that topic about you? If the reason for the split was due more to hot air than bad moral judgment, and you are working on making yourself a better person, proceed to Step 3.
Step 3: Is he forgiving? Look at his behavior? Does he show forgiveness in other areas of his life (rescue animals, volunteer, taken other old girlfriend back)? If he is someone that shows tendencies to forgive, proceed to Step 4.