The best flirts know it: foreplay begins long before you hit the bedroom.
What is foreplay anyway? Well to start off, it's a noun, but it is so much more than that, and if you pay attention and learn the art of epic foreplay you might not even make it to the bedroom. (The backseat or the broom closet might just have to do)!
According to the Urban Dictionary, foreplay is touching, kissing or licking each other in a stimulating manner, in order to become "turned on" before having actual sex. However, in most public places this kind of foreplay isn't too acceptable, especially the licking part.
But that doesn’t mean you need to wait until after your date to put foreplay skills into action. Non-physical foreplay is a bigger turn-on than twerking to Justin Timberlake's latest in the club. Trust me on this ladies, subtlety is sexy. Keep the twerking for your alone time. He'll think it's much sexier if you only twerk for him.
There are just a few simple steps for foreplay that starts before the bedroom, and they start with you getting in touch with yourself, and never be a doormat.
1. Get in tune with your sensual side.
You can do this by getting in touch with your six senses. Oh… you thought there were five? There is one that many people don't talk about, and we'll get to that later. Clueless in how to connect with with your sensual energy? Learn more 4 more subtle seductive communication tips. There are the five senses that we all know: taste, touch, smell, hearing and seeing — and using all of these is a big part of foreplay. You've got to be tapped in to be turned on.
Try this exercise: next time you are eating your Caesar salad with grilled chicken, really pay attention to what is going on around you. Notice the heat of the chicken as opposed to the coldness of the fork, and the crispy, crunchy sounds of the romaine and croutons. Notice the textures too.
Whenever you do anything, be really aware of the way things look and feel around you while you have. See the sun shining and be aware of the shimmery ice cubes in your drink, what the condensation feels like on your fingers. Licking the condensation off of your glass is not quite what you want to go for hwew. (Remember subtle is sexy, at least in public).
When you tune into your body and live in the moment, you can get more in touch with your sixth sense. When you are in tune with what is going on with you and your body, you can tap into your intuition, and trusting that part will allow you to be more open with you man. Trusting your instincts will turn both of you on.
2. Let him know how you feel.
When you are aware of what is going on around you and inside of you, it's easier to connect with a man on a deeper, more sensual level. But you can only do this when you know what you are feeling. If you feel numb, then practice what it means to feel.
Here is a list of emotional words, if you're not sure what I mean:
Getting in touch with your feelings will help you tap in to yourself, and trusting yourself is a very appealing quality to a man.
If you notice it's windy outside on your way to the club, pay attention to what you feel, then use your words to convey your feelings to him. You can first feel the feeling in yourself and then say "I feel so chilly!" This will give him some space to connect with you.
This is the more subtle feminine approach to letting a man know what is going on with you. This kind of talk can lead to a greater connection which in turn can lead to hotter sex — because you both feel connected on a deeper level. Get that second date by using 3 EPIC sensual steps.
You are also giving him the space to figure out what to do. Men love feeling needed, and they also like to use their brains. This subtle foreplay tip will let him feel manly by listening to you, then doing something for you, which will make him feel inspired to care for you in his own way and on his own terms. He gets to decide, and you get to be receptive. He gets turned on, you get turned on... everyone wins!
If you are cold and ask him for his coat, you are not giving him any space to connect with you on an emotional level. In essence, you are solving the problem by telling him what to do and taking on the masculine role... and telling him what to do does nothing for feelings of romance. Men do want emotional connection, and they get this through you and the way you speak from your real feelings. Believe it or not, this is a type of foreplay. It is subtle, and it works magic in both your pants and your hearts.
3. Don't give him all the treats at once.
Being sensual can lead to sexual feelings in both you and him. Being sensual is being into your body and appreciating where you are. It is dressing sexy, but not baring it all. Wearing a sexy dress that is short, has cut-out on the arms and a low back is more skanky than sexy, and may lead to sexy feelings, but that's about it.
If you want something deeper with a man, you'll want to inspire his sexual feelings and something more, and sensual subtlety works best for this. This is my favorite kind of foreplay! Let the way you move and the way you dress make him wonder what's going to happen after hours.
Instead of giving him all of the cookies in the cookie jar at once, give him a nibble at a time throughout the evening. Let him wonder what's going on under your dress instead of showing him everything before you've even had any bruschetta. The date went well, and you never heard from him again?
Foreplay isn't always overly sexual, laden with licking or biting. Foreplay that starts before the bedroom can be subtlety sensual. If you are feeling saucy, you can let him know with your withering gaze, your feelings, your open heart and the way you are in touch with yourself. Then let him seduce you.
When you understand the way you feel and you give him the gift of sharing your feelings with him, it will inspire him to romance you. This will turn you on, and will lead to hours of fun when the bedroom door is closed... that is, if you even make it there.
If you have trouble with people walking all over you, learn how to become an empowered, sensual woman that lure in men with your EPIC feminine energy. When you sign up for the EPIC Love newsletter, you will also receive my free eBook How To Stop Pushing Men Away & Get The Love You Want. You will learn the right tools so you feel confident enough to shower the world with your sensual yumminess. That is what men are looking for.
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