Have you ever gone on a date with a guy and found that you weren't really into him? For whatever reason, he was just off, but on the date he asks you out again and you don't know what to do. You have a sinking feeling in your heart because you are not interested, but you don't want to hurt his feelings. Never fear! There are things to know about how to reject a guy the right way.
I was hanging out with one of my guy friends this week. He was interested in a girl his friends wanted to set him up with. They had given him her number because they thought that the two of them would be a good match, so he gave her a call. He thought she was interested; they chatted a few times and he thought that they were connecting. He asked her out on a date, and she said "yes." Then, he asked her when she was available...and she disappeared faster than a lightning bolt. Nada. Zilch. No answer, and now it's been a week.
This left him wondering what the heck was going on!
When I talked to him, he asked, "Why didn't she just tell me she wasn't interested in that way?" It's because she wasn't interested but didn't want to hurt his feelings, so she took the chicken way out. Please don't do this, ladies!
There are 3 things to do to reject a guy the right way:
1. Tap into your real feelings.
2. Be authentic.
3. Say what you mean — in a nice, mature way.
Being rejected sucks, but being rejected is better than hanging off of an emotional cliff by your fingernails.
When it comes to communication, the list of things men want is short:
If you have a hard time telling people no, start practicing with everyone! Say what you mean and mean what you say, in a non-mean way. It will be hard, especially if you're a people pleaser, but with practice and a little courage you can do it!
One of the big challenges in dating is finding someone who likes you as much as you like them — at the exact same time. Sometimes it's not the right timing or the right chemistry...or he's 40-years old and still has a rat-tail (that he happens to be to be very proud of!).
Men are more sensitive than you realize, and they appreciate the truth, even if it's not what they want to hear.
Don't say: "Wow, you only tipped the waitress 10% — what a cheapskate!"
Do say: "I don't know that we have enough common interests — such as traveling the world in your $500,000 yacht — to go out again!"
Don't say: "That beer belly just isn't doing it for me, buddy."
Do say: "Fitness is so important to me, and I want to be with someone who likes to do cross fit with me 5 times a week." If that comment doesn't get Mr. Couch Potato to leave you alone, you just might have to mention the beer belly. Just kidding…sort of.
Don't say: "Do you need a towel? My whole face is wet! When we kissed I thought for sure that you had turned into a bullmastiff."
Do say: "You are such a cool guy, but I just don't feel any chemistry with you in that way."
If you feel friend chemistry with someone, you can say things like:
Do say: "I liked hanging out with you, and we could go bike riding or go to a movie as friends!"
If you don't feel that something special with a guy you can let him down the easy way. He might have a cousin or a friend who will end up on the friendly bike trek — and bam! You might meet Mr. Right, or Mr. Right Now.
Keep an open mind when you are dating. You have an opportunity to meet a new friend who likes Coldplay as much as you do, or your potential date might be a guy who wants to start a new camping store online, and you'll find that you're the perfect fit as his new part-time blogger!
Have a great time on your single journey, and remember, dating isn't just about finding the one, it's about finding yourself and having lots and lots of fun. If you want to learn how to navigate the bumpy waters of dating, sign up for the EPIC Love Newsletter and get my free ebook, "How to Stop Pushing Love Away & Get The Love You Want."
More Dating advice on YourTango: