Expert Blog Compelling advice, stories, and thought-provoking perspectives straight from YourTango's lineup of Experts to you

8 Tips for More Confidence - Because Confidence is Sexy

Contributor
Self

Feeling Sexy is About Being Comfortable in Your Own Skin

As I’ve been preparing for the release of my upcoming group coaching program “Make Your Inner Sex Kitten Roar,” I’ve been talking to both men and women about what makes a person sexy.   The number one answer: confidence.

I can't wave a magic wand and gift you with confidence, But I can give you these eight tips to help you build  it!

  1. Let Go of Perfection:  I understand that you want things to be right in your life, but trying to be perfect is actually paralyzing. Perfectionism sets you up for living in fear of never measuring up or  being good enough.   Confidence isn't developed in a state of perfection.  In fact, perfectionism is the antithesis of confidence. So, quiet your inner critic and let go of the need to be perfect.
  2. Take Action:  Confidence comes through experience, and experience comes through action. The most confident people I know are, ironically, the ones who are willing to look stupid, insane, crazy, and idiotic in order to reach their goals.  Over and over, they attempt, fail, course correct and continue to learn and grow through life’s experiences.
  3. Dress How You Want to Feel:    Dressing how you want to feel is a great way to play with physical reality to build your inner confidence.  So, define how you want to feel, imagine how that feeling looks, and dress with the intention of embodying your feeling.
  4. Watch Your Posture:  Stand up like you mean it.  Stand up like you have something to say to the world.   So, practice good posture to start building your confidence level.  That’s right, back straight, shoulders back and boobs out!
  5. Make Decisions:  We often underestimate the power of decision.  Often times, we don’t make decisions because we don’t trust ourselves.  It’s OK to start small, like choosing a restaurant or a beautiful pair of shoes. Then make bigger decisions: pick a vacation spot or a piece of art or a new suit.   With each decision, you become more and more confident versus waiting for someone to make the decisions for you and letting your confidence wither away.
  6. Role Play:  I’m not telling you to not be yourself – I’m simply suggesting you try to wear another person’s shoes for a few moments.  Because, deep inside of you is this confident sexy person – you may just need to try it on for size before you wear it full time.
  7. Celebrate Your Victories:   Dig around in your memory and think about things you are so proud of accomplishing.  They can be small or big, affect only you or other people too.  Make a list and as you write each accomplishment down, give yourself a pat on the back and acknowledge all that you’ve done.  This is a great step towards building your inner confidence!
  8. Show Your Pearly Whites:   A smile is one of those totally controllable actions that you can take into your outer world that will make your inner world soar. Try it.  Walk into a room and just smile. Notice what happens.  Suddenly, good mojo begins to flow towards you.  You start to relax.  Things stop being so damned serious.  And you discover that your confidence is greater.

Feeling confident and sexy is about being comfortable in your own skin.  It’s that simple.  What about you?  What tricks do you have to make you feel more confident?  What tips did you like the best to grow make your confidence soar?

Debra believes that  within every woman is vibrant, passionate, and sexy being just itching to make their inner sex kitten roar.  To learn more, visit Debra's website. You can also connect with her on  Facebook or Twitter.

This article was originally published at Debra Smouse Create a Life You Love . Reprinted with permission from the author.

Author
Contributor

Explore YourTango