3 Reasons Why You Can't Find A Guy

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looking for love
Always attracting hotties who won't commit? Find out why it may be your fault!

What is wrong with men these days? This is a frequent complaint I hear from my customers and clients. No matter how positive they try to be, they still seem to meet men who just don't want a commitment. The ones who want to get married are boring and the ones who don't are so sexy, but flaky when it comes to settling down to a long-term relationship. 11 Things Never To Say To A Single Woman

If you are always meeting non-committal men (or women), the problem isn't with the selection out there, but within your own mind. It is easy to blame singles in your age group, the quality of singles who date online, or that the type of partner you seek is really not out there. Passing the responsibility on to external circumstances is the way your subconscious mind tries to lead you away from the truth of what is really going on. If you find the truth, you will change your results.

The law of cause and effect states that every effect is driven by a cause. First, you need to look at your results. For example, always attracting non-committal people is the effect. Then, you have to understand what is causing the effect you are experiencing. When you look outside of yourself for the cause, you don't have any power to change it. When you look within for the source, you can be empowered to shift your experience to attract the love you desire. Are You A Commitment-Phobe?

Now, don't get too hard on yourself because you are not consciously creating this experience. If you knew what you were doing (or feeling/thinking) to cause it, I am sure you would change it immediately unless you really don't want to have love in your life. In my experience, here are the top reasons why you may be attracting non-committal partners.

1.  You are not committed to having a partner and unaware of it. Most likely, there is a stronger unconscious desire inside of you to stay single.

Solution: Ask yourself what benefits you receive from staying in the status quo and if you are willing to give them up in order to be in a committed relationship.

2.  You want a quick fix for love. Those fly-by-night men actually feed that need for fast love. They say all the right things and create an "instant" relationship. However, they often end as fast as they begin.

Solution: Heal the urgency for love and you will stop attracting the ones who mesmerize you into one-night stands.

3. You are afraid of getting emotionally intimate with a partner. Non-committal people never want to get close so you don't have to deal with emotional intimacy! Sexual intimacy is easy if this is you, but the emotional part is scary.

Solution: Heal the past which has caused you to be afraid of opening up deeply to a partner. If you already worked on this, you need to dig a little deeper to get to the root of the fear. Very Important! If you are afraid of getting too intimate, you will also be afraid to do the deep work required to heal this issue. Does Casual Sex Screw Up Emotional Intimacy?

There are three steps to changing your results. 

First, notice the pattern you are experiencing in your relationships. 

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
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Debi Berndt

Author

Debi Berndt is the co-founder of CreativeLove.com, a personal development system for singles to stop fixing themselves and finally find true love. She works with her partner, Dr. Robert Maldonado (Psychologist). Their system was developed based on Carl Jung's work and influenced by Eastern Philosophy.  Debi is also the author of the bestselling book, LET LOVE IN. Get your free lecture and meditation - Why you are single and how to find love without fixing yourself here.

Location: Santa Monica, CA
Credentials: CHT
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