Having a sex contract in your marriage

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Having a sex contract in your marriage
There are assumptions about what a person may expect or even want concerning sex

Most people commit to a marriage for life, without discussing their idea of what sex should be like in the marriage.

There are assumptions about what a person may expect or even want concerning sex, but most couples don’t sit down and discuss it. This is where monogamy in marriage fails, cheating takes place or just having the marriage end in divorce. One way to prevent a sexless marriage and to keep sex fresh and exciting for both partners, there needs to be a sex contract.

This may sound unconventional, less than spontaneous or downright weird but read on and you will see that it should be a part of the overall marriage contract that is signed when you give yourself to that person for life. A sex contract is an agreement between two people, and it can be revised, revisited and have parts that can be adjust. The underlying purpose of the sex contract is that sex in the marriage needs to be talked about openly, because sex is a big part of the relationship that creates the bond between husband and wife.

Statics show that married women have less orgasms then single women. Statics show that once married, men get less blow jobs, than single. By establising a sex contract the couple can request such things as oral sex, orgasms, foreplay, sexual play or whatever each particular couple agrees upon.

In my private practice I have had both men and women talk about how they though sex should be in their marriage and if they had known it was not going to be this way or that way, they may never have chosen to marry their spouse in the first place. The sex contract takes the guess work out and opens up the lines of communication for both husband and wife.

I had one lady out of several write a comment on an article I wrote about “Reasons why a husband does not want to have sex with his wife” She was concerned because her husband said that sex was fine in a marriage just once a month, but to her it was not fine at all, she wanted sex three times a week. This is just one of the many examples why a sex contract is import to discuss in any relationship.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Dawn Michael

Sex Therapist

Dawn Michael PhD ACS

Location: Westlake Village, CA
Credentials: BA, MA, PhD
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