The best part about being a “cougar” is that you can have that hot guy you wanted in your twenties
The divorce is over, kids are older and you find yourself in a situation where you don’t want to jump back into a relationship, but you do want to have great sex!
Why not have it with a younger man? Men have been doing this for centuries, having sex with women many years younger then them. The best part about being a “cougar” is that you can have that hot guy you wanted in your twenties but would have been labeled as a slut at the time. Now, you no longer care about being the “good girl” so you can get married and have children. Now you can be the naughty girl and fulfill those sexual desires that you kept dormant thought out your marriage.
The rule of the game:
I hate to call it a game or even talk about rules, but as an experienced women myself, relationship coach and clinical sexologist, I will honestly say it does exist!
Dating younger men in their 20’s and early 30’s is different then a man in their 40’s and up. Men that are younger have a different way of looking at the world and being a cougar their idea of dating is going to be different than your’s. It is you who sets the rules and takes charge, not expecting from the young man what he is not capable of.
Young men have come up with the term “friends with benefits” this term needs to be squashed right away, you are a cougar so your term is “lover” The difference is that you don’t want a friend, you want a lover, a man that is respectful of you, and understands that having sex is not just physical but emotional. The emotional sex though is only during the act, no strings attached and not a friend. They can’t call you on the phone and say “hey dude let’s go out for a drink” You are a woman and expect or teach the young man to respect you as one. If he can’t afford to take you out for a drink then, he can at least bring over a nice bottle of wine.
Do not get attached or make more out of the encounter than it is, this is about sexual satisfaction, gratification and fun. This is not a long term relationship, or a man that you can cry on his shoulder. This is hot passionate sex, you have passion at your age and his vigor and willingness to be open to you is on the same level. I don’t want to say “boy toy” but if that helps keep things in perspective then there it is, no one gets hurt and you both just have fun!
Don’t get sucked into to the dating generation of endless texting and skyping, men in their 20’s are more apprehensive to meet in person. They have gotten so used to technology that a face to face meeting may be a little intimidating. If he insists on the skpe and endless texting move on, it will just be a big waste of your time.
Don’t be afraid to tell your young hot guy what turns you on in bed, most young men are eager to please and learn a thing or two. Understand that by you teaching them about how a woman really enjoys sex you are doing a wonderful educational tool for other women that he many come across in the future. (Women helping women)
More Juicy Content From YourTango:
- Should Women Actually Date Younger Men?
- The Best Love Advice On YourTango
The Best Couples And Relationship Advice On YourTango