The new casual dating app Tinder has been all over the news lately, so I wanted to find out for myself what all the rage was all about. So, I downloaded the app and loaded it up. It's like the Twitter of dating.
You have 500 characters or less to tell possible dates what you're all about. That really isn’t an easy thing to do. How can people give an interesting description of themselves that briefly?
So, anyway I set up my profile and got started. I spent a whole weekend looking at pictures of women! All you do is look at pictures of people and say whether you find them attractive or not. If you find them attractive and they find you attractive, it's a match and you go from there.
The amazing thing about Tinder is it meets men's need for instant gratification. These were pictures of real women (or they appeared to be!) They weren't Sports Illustrated models or movie stars. These looked like real, attainable women.
These were real women men could look at, and fantasize about meeting and sleeping with. They're local women who logged into the app only a few hours ago. It's like cocaine for the mind. Picture after picture, and you don't even have to read the descriptions. All it does is trigger all the same feelings guys have when they were young and stole their Dad's first Playboy.
All Tinder does is feed that caveman part of a male brain. I felt like I was looking through some kind of weird catalogue. I didn't have to say or do anything, except hit X or heart to say whether I was interested.
This was amazing. Then the reality set in. I'm a good-looking guy, and I got no responses from women. Not one. I Tinder-ed women of all ages. Younger girls who said they liked older men, and older women who said they liked younger men. I messaged the exact kind of women I know from experience normally check me out when I'm in public.
All of a sudden, I got a response from this blonde woman I messaged. I was excited to see what her message said. Turns out she was a phone sex girl, or happy ending girl, selling her services on Tinder. She was hot. She had blonde hair, big breasts, and she was every "man's" dream. If I paid her $75 she'd let me watch her on cam for 15 minutes!
This girl makes a fortune and she doesn't have to advertise or anything. She just puts her photos on Tinder, writes her prices over her half naked body and waits. She'll get all the men who basically get shut out and frustrated by the whole process.
I can only imagine how many heart matches women get. Men probably sit their heart matching every woman on there, hoping one will get back to them. It's so funny that the symbol for a match is a heart too. This app is far from making love connections. It's all about look connectsions!
Obviously, I'm the wrong age for Tinder. Then again, I saw women very close to my age and they still didn't respond.
They were probably swamped by every man within a 5-mile radius of them. The odds are stacked so far against guys on sites like this. If you've ever tried online dating as a man you'll know what I mean. It can be torturous.
You can write 50 incredible e-mails to women, but if you're one year out of their search range, she's not going to e-mail you back. And women are inundated with responses from men non-stop. Tinder might be great for people in their 20s. You're young; it’s all a bit of fun and superficial.
It's amazing how much times have changed. Now we're so driven by technology, you can spend your life "talking" to people on your phone or computer and never actually see anyone. I've even seen two people texting each other on their phones and then bumping into each other in the street. There's this weird serendipitous moment where the two phones touch each other, and the electricity and chemistry begins to flow!
Our world has changed. Dating is no longer about flirting, and all about Tinder-ing! Tinder just capitalized on the way we've become as a society. It's as if we have WANTED posters around now: Wanted: "Blonde girl in their 20s," or "Wanted: Fit guy."
Call me old fashioned, but what ever happened to that amazing moment where you bump into each other in the supermarket or meet at a party, and start connecting? What happened to the days where we didn't walk around with our phones to see if we had any Tinder matches?
I think we need to get back to real life interactions. It's not going to be easy to train people out of instant gratification, but when you think about it, it actually leads to more frustration and loneliness. I'd like to hear from all of you. How many of you have had good experiences with online dating or Tinder? How many of you have become frustrated and disheartened by it all?
I mean after 48 hours I felt a little uglier as a person. In fact, if I wasn't as secure as a person, or I had any issues with looks or social anxiety, 48 hours on Tinder would send me over the edge. You put a picture of yourself up, and after 48 hours, nobody finds you attractive. You've lost all your looks. You no longer have it. The world decided you're ugly.
Unless you have a very thick skin, you should stay well away from places like Tinder. They'll destroy what little confidence you have. Imagine sending out 100 hearts and not one-person contacts you back. How are you going to feel about yourself?
If you want to feel lousy about life, spend a day or two on Tinder. If you want to feel good about yourself, and enjoy proper human connection, work on your social skills instead. Get out there, talk to people, and start living in the real world. Tinder won't do anything but make you forget about the beauty you truly are.
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