Most of my sex life, I have wondered why men have this pre-occupation with the almighty blow job.
It can be a subject of great contention for some women. My husband has told me on numerous occasions that this is a subject that men discuss. One of his fellow associates even said, "Women would rule the world if they would just give their husbands the blow job that they want." Why?
What is the fascination — the importance! — of oral sex for men? Even women's magazines like Cosmo and Glamour try to convince women that this is something that we should be doing on a regular basis. If all you want to do is get naked and have sex, why is this also so important? Do guys talk about this with each other?
I know that my younger counterparts do not have as many hang-ups about blow jobs, but as a woman who was born in the late 1950s, I (like many others in my generation) was trained by my mother to never consider going down on a guy because it's for prostitutes and bad girls. So, what do I do now that it is common practice?
Let me respond to it in a direct, succinct manner. Men are wild about getting their whistles blown, and there are quite a few reasons for this. Here are five reasons guys love blow jobs:
1. It feels really good.
There's something about being enveloped by the warm wetness of an insistent mouth that really gets our blood boiling. "But don't you get the same sensation being nestled inside a moist vagina?" Yes ... if your vagina has a tongue. You see, oral sex is more of an ensemble piece than vaginal sex. A good blow job requires the mutual cooperation of lips, tongue, saliva, hand, and — on very rare occasions — a receptive gullet. Tough for your nether regions to compete with such a well-oiled oral team.
2. It's virtually stress-free for us.
Unlike regular sex where we have to be concerned about being hard enough, big enough and long-lasting enough, "lingual love" carries with it no such angst-inducing pressures. We are literally free to relax and enjoy ourselves knowing that our orgasm will arrive at the appropriate time — no matter how soon that is.
3 The voyeur in us really has a chance to come into play.
Unless we have mirrors or video recording devices in our bedroom, we never really get to visually experience sex when we are actively participating in it. But with oral sex, we have the opportunity to see you work your magic on our private parts. We get to watch you pleasure us, which only further enhances our arousal. It's like we're starring in our own little pornographic film (and you know how much we enjoy our dirty movies).
4. It's all about recreation — not procreation.
The goal is pleasure, not progeny. In other words, it's an opportunity to have a good time without the risk of 18 years of financial commitment. It's orgasm without a price tag, and we really like that.
5. Your willingness to selflessly service us makes us feel confident.
You're catering to our needs without demanding anything in return. Thus oral sex is a treat, of sorts — a little bonus given lovingly to us by someone who wants nothing more than to make us feel good. And what's not to like about that?
I am not, however, saying that you must engage in this sexual practice in order to satisfy your man. If the idea of engaging in such an act repulses you — and your vagina has been sexually doing all the heavy lifting for years without complaints from your man — then why fix what's not broken?
On the other hand, if you're looking to spice up your sexual repertoire with a performance piece that's sure to earn you a standing ovation from your man's sexual apparatus, then a blowjob is the ticket. It's the perfect gift for all occasions, and there's very little chance he'll want to exchange it, re-gift it or return it for store credit.
Author of the controversial book, "Every Man Sees You Naked: An Insider's Guide to How Men Think," David M. Matthews is an Emmy-winning TV Writer/Producer and relationship coach. For more information on David or to get a copy of his free report on "The 3 Things Men Are REALLY Looking For In A Relationship", go to EveryManSeesYouNaked.com.
This article was originally published at fabulously40.com
. Reprinted with permission from the author.