He's Started Saying "No" To Blowjobs

Love, Sex

Why would any man say no to oral sex? Find out why he's putting the brakes on blowjobs.

In response to a previous column, I received the following letter, which I would like to share with my readers.

Question: My question is very personal, but I read your blog and found it interesting. My husband, believe it or not, says he has to be in the mood for oral sex especially when I want to do it to him. Is this odd? Do you think I am doing something wrong? I want to please him, and I personally enjoy it. Any advice you can give I would appreciate.  ...Allison

Answer: You ask a very interesting question: Does a man (in this case, your husband) have to be in the mood to receive oral sex?

The simple answer to this is: No. Since receiving oral sex requires almost no effort on the part of the recipient, and the outcome is decidedly pleasant and lacks any performance anxiety, there are very few reasons a man would not want to be pleasured this way. In fact, most men complain about not receiving this kind of attention enough. And frankly, I’ve never heard complaints about receiving too much oral sex.

I can think of several reasons, however, that a man might want to limit the frequency of oral sex: 1) He struggles with the perception that this kind of activity is demeaning, and despite his enjoyment of it, tries to limit the number of times he subjects you to it; 2) He has some religious objection to this form of sexual activity; 3) He had some negative experience with oral sex in the past, the memories of which are sometimes triggered by your oral attention; 4)He is worried about orgasming too soon this way, and thus eliminating (at least for 20 or 30 minutes) the possibility of having “regular” sex; 5) He feels as if you are using oral sex as a way to gain his attention when he is trying to focus on other important things…in other words, you‘re making oral sex a “pleasant annoyance;” 6) He is having sex with someone else, or has recently masturbated, and doesn’t want you to have that close contact with his penis and discover either of these things; 7) Your oral sex technique is somewhat lacking and he doesn’t know how to tell you – so he endures your ministrations as infrequently as possible.

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This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.

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