As an online dating coach, I work with many single moms who are lost about what how to date again after divorce. Feeling sexy again is the first obstacle to getting back on the dating saddle, but once they’ve overcome that, they don’t know where to look for a new mate. It is possible to find love again so in honor of Mother’s Day, here are 7 of my top tips for single moms to help new love blossom this Spring.
1. Expand Your Social Circle – Many times it is hard to meet new people when you’re waiting for your same friends, co-workers, or churches to introduce you to singles they know. Use all the great technology and dating innovations now available to meet new people – online dating, meet-ups, social networking, speed dating, mixers and more.
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2. Say Yes – As a the mother of a 3-year-old, I understand that it feels weird to go out again after you’ve had kids but this time when someone invites you somewhere, say yes. Extra ticket for the basketball game – yes. Blind date with friend’s friend – yes.
3. Makeover Yourself – Most of the makeover you need is probably mental. You are sexy, caring, a great match and to snag your next spouse you need to feel good about yourself. Try getting a new wardrobe (or a few pieces) or starting a new workout routine. It can do wonders for your self-esteem.
4. Schedule in Your Free Time – When you don’t have the kids, take advantage of the extra time to see your dates. Make sure you schedule time for your new mate before he comes into your life. Many moms are so over-committed that new partners feel you don't have time for them. I recommend carving out 2 to 3 hour 'dates' every week that you can use to see someone new, go to a singles mixer, or browse dating sites. Also, don't forget to schedule relaxation and alone time for yourself!
5. Ask For Introductions – Many single moms are shy about letting people know they are single and ready to mingle. Don’t make the assumption that friends and co-workers would set you up on dates if they knew someone who was right for you. Making a specific ask that includes the top 3 qualities your seeking in a mate is more likely to fill up your dance card than just waiting for other to think of you for a blind date.
6. Don’t Date your Ex’s Opposite – The tendency after a relationship ends is to rebound with someone who has all the qualities that your ex lacked. They had no ambition so you seek out someone with a high-profile career. These relationships can seem satisfying at first but make sure you are loving your new partner for who they are rather than just filling the holes left by your ex.
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7. Keep Your Kids Out of It – Being mom myself I know how your life and your conversations seem to always end up revolving around your kids. However, in the dating scene, this is a topic for a later date. When you’re dating, a man wants to see you in a sexual way and using pictures of your children on your dating profile or talking about them throughout the date is a turnoff. Keep Reading...
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