I have hosted thousands of Pleasure Parties over the past 10 years. After a couple of hours of sex toy talk and tons of wine, the TRUTH comes out! These women will tell me every detail of their love life, whether they are over the moon or trudging through a sexual dry patch. 10 years and thousands of conversations, and the same five issues come up over and over. Read on for some super simple ways to spice up your sex life immediately.
1. Helping around the house is sexy – SERIOUSLY. If you’ve been living together any amount of time (and especially if you have kids), your woman wants and needs help. If she does all the cooking, cleaning, bill paying, and child rearing, she’ll start to feel resentful. Hurt feelings = no nooky for you. So go on – gas up the car and give it a wash. Take out the trash or even cook dinner one night, all without her asking. Men who cook and clean? Sexy. I guarantee she’ll want you to clean her clock later on.
More from YourTango: REGULAR Women in Lingerie Challenge
2. Kissing her revs her engine. Men get turned on by visuals. Women are tactile – we like being TOUCHED. And luckily for you, our lips are SUPER sensitive. Kissing is not just for romance, so DO NOT skip this step. It makes us wet, more orgasmically inclined, and VERY lusty. Just give it a try – spend at least five minutes kissing her and really getting into it, paying attention to the taste of her tongue and the sounds she makes, BEFORE you reach for the goods. She might surprise you and reach for yours instead!
3. Make sure you rub…her back, feet, and other non-breast parts. See what happens when you rub her feet or legs with some massage oil. Massage her neck and shoulders for 10 minutes after she cooks dinner. Dig in, loosen up those tight muscles, and enjoy the feeling of her melting under your touch. If you do it without the expectation of sex (which many women find annoying and a major turn-off), she may just return the favor!
More from YourTango: 13 Reasons Why Women Fake Orgasms
4. Think she’s smokin’ hot? TELL HER! From the time we learn to walk and talk, women constantly hear from the media that we are too old, too wrinkled, too fat, etc. All that crap messes with our minds. Thankfully, all we really need is a little help from you. If you vocalize (that is, SAY IT OUT LOUD WHERE SHE CAN HEAR IT) that you find her attractive, sexy, hot, etc., she will feel so much better about herself, and good feelings = a much more sexually responsive lady.
5. Get in sync with kink. We have a dirty and kinky side, too. If the popularity of 50 Shades of Grey tells you anything, we like porn, we like dirty talk, we like to be spanked, we like our hair pulled, we want you to take control from time to time, and we want you to tie us to the bed. Sadly, for most of our lives we’ve been programmed to play the part of the GOOD GIRL. Help her let out that inner bad girl by talking kink and fantasy and being willing to try new things.