What's the REAL reason you turn to porn?
Even though sexual addictions, such a porn addiction, are becoming more and more accepted as real problems and not just convenient excuses for lascivious behavior, people suffering from them still feel massive amounts of shame.
That shame often fuels compulsive sexual needs and stands in the way of a person getting pornography addiction help.
Shame is at the core of recovering from a porn addiction — treatment addresses both the shame driving the addiction as well as the shame of having the addiction.
So What If I Look At Porn? Everyone Does!
Of all search engine requests, 25 percent are porn-related. Of all Internet downloads, 35 percent are pornographic. In the United States, Internet porn is estimated to be at least an $8 billion a year business.
It’s perfectly clear — People like porn.
But not all of these porn viewers are addicted to sex or need porn addiction therapy. But some do and the proliferation of porn addiction recovery programs like Neulia attests to the fact that this is a very real problem for many people.
Because porn use is so widespread, many men deny that they have a problem: “Every guy I know looks at porn,” or “I can stop anytime I want.” “Just because I like sex, doesn’t mean I’m a sex addict.”
For some men, that all may be true. For others, the truth is that men with a true sexual addiction can’t stop. Their addiction interferes with their relationships, marriages, sexual performance and jobs.
What stops many men from seeking pornography addiction help is the shame of using porn as well as the shame of being unable to stop by themselves. The reality is that most men with a porn addiction issue need outside help.
The Blame And Shame Game
Lots of guys addicted to porn blame other people or situations in their lives: “I have a tough job with a lot of stress and need to let off steam.” “If my wife or girlfriend wanted more sex, maybe I wouldn’t need to look at porn.” “The porn sites have me hooked, so I keep coming back for more.”
Reality check — If pornography is interfering with your life, no one else is to blame but you. The first step toward porn addiction recovery is to take responsibility for your own actions. Blaming others is simply a diversion from the shame a porn addict feels.
Porn addicts use the sexy videos and images (and subsequent physical release through masturbation) to cope with uncomfortable feelings such as inadequacy, loneliness, boredom, and shame. After porn use, shame sets in, the cycle starts all over again, and the individual uses porn again and again.
This cycle is extremely difficult to stop by yourself. Before they even realize it, many men become addicted.
Stopping a porn addiction typically involves first recognizing that you can’t fix this on your own. Admitting that uncomfortable truth opens the door to seeking porn addiction recovery.
Once you acknowledge that you need porn addiction treatment and you seek that help, you can learn techniques to break the cycle of your compulsive behaviors. As you do that, you can begin to deal with the underlying shame.
Many men who go through porn addiction recovery programs see their lives change in ways that lead to improved intimate relationships, increased job accomplishments, and eventual freedom from the debilitating effects of living with shame.
If you're not sure if you have a porn addiction problem, take the free and confidential online Porn Addiction Quiz. Check out a free sample of George Collins’ best-selling book on sex and porn addiction, Breaking the Cycle: Free Yourself from Sex Addiction, Porn Obsession, and Shame.
This article was originally published at neulia.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.