Few of us would deny that self-love is a good idea. Could you imagine telling a child, "Hey you, don't love yourself, that's selfish." Of course not. And chances are that if asked, "Do you love yourself?" most people would say, "Yes, of course I do," when in fact the majority of us don't really have a clue what self-love actually means, or requires.
This lack of understanding about self-love isn't surprising when you consider that the current definition of self-love on dictionary.com is 'conceit, vanity and narcissism' (no kidding!) Or when you look at the pressures today's woman faces, equal to men in many ways, knowing she can do anything, but exhausted by her attempts to do and be everything.
As an independent, self-confident women with tons of self-esteem, I sure thought I had self-love, until I found myself at the age of 30 almost marrying Mr. Wrong because I was afraid to be alone. Add on how much I hated my cellulite and called myself fat (I am a size 8), beat myself up for everything that I didn't accomplish (I have my MBA from one of the best business schools in the country), and drove myself to exhaustion because 'resting' made me feel guilty, and I had to stop and ask myself, "While I might have self-esteem, I am surely missing something." And that something was self-love.
My definition of self-love is quite different than the dictionary.com version - and it boils down to this: Do you have unconditional love and respect for yourself?
A big question for sure.
Self-love can feel so intangible and vast to attain, but there is a path, there are milestones - I've experienced at least 5 of them myself over the past 10 years. I call these milestones the gates of self-love. And you can use them to see where you have load of self love and where you don't.
In honor of this February 13th, the international day of self love, I've created The Self Love Test to give you insight on where you are ready to grow more self love. My self-love dare to you is that on Feb 13th, you choose one gate of self-love and make that the gate you focus on this year. You can learn more about each gate as well as the vows and hows of self-love in the free self-love kit at www.ChooseSelfLove.com
For now, take this test and as you read about each gate, ask yourself, have I already passed through to the other side, or am I still climbing my way up to new levels of self-love here? Then ask yourself, "If I was to choose one area of self-love to grow in 2011, what would that be?" Dare to choose self-love.
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