According to Barbara Musser, Sexy After Cancer, "In addition to everything else that comes with a Cancer diagnosis, the dirty little secret that no one talks about is how it affects intimacy and sexuality. Depending on a number of factors, the impact can be small or huge. For those who have chemo or hormonal therapies, the impact is quickand shocking. It throws women into menopause virtually overnight, and it impacts men in similar ways."
"Anatomically, these treatments make genital tissue friable, very delicate and easily torn. Elasticity and flexibility take a nosedive as blood and lymphatic flow slows down. All this makes intercourse painful. It also impacts libido, the urge to be sexual."
"Why don't the doctors talk about this? What I'm told is that in these days of managed care, they don't have time to cover this. They answer questions, but if the patient doesn't ask, the conversation doesn't happen."
"I think there's also some embarrassment. Many people aren't comfortable talking about intimacy or sex and don't know how. And in medical school, there is little or no training about sexuality for most specialties."
"In my opinion, instead of giving up, I have found that this is a perfect opportunity to heal, learn, grow and to have a great intimate and sexual life. It's a great time to learn more about your body and how it works, explore what feels good and what doesn't, learn the language of intimacy and sex and communicate with your partner(s) about all of this. It's possible to have a great time or an even better time than ever and to use cancer as the portal to new levels of ecstasy."
One product I have found to be very helpful for the pain and sensitive tissue is sex butter, which is an organic enhancement and lubrication product that feels silky smooth and soothing. With Valentines Day right around the corner, give yourself or your loved one the gift of amazing sex.
Really? Yep, stick with us and we'll keep on giving you lots of tips and tools to ignite the sparks! — Barbara Musser and Bonnie Gayle.
Barbara Musser is a respected speaker, educator, coach and author. Diagnosed with breast cancer in 1989, she had a child after treatment. She creates programs to heal the trauma of cancer to intimacy and sexuality. Barbara wrote Sexy After Cancer: Meeting Your Inner Aphrodite on the Breast Cancer Journey, and she is a member of AASECT, the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists.
More sex advice from YourTango: