Not only is it okay to talk about yourself to men, but it is essential to getting first dates and future dates. When I tell women that it's good to talk about themselves, it's generally met with complete shock.
But don't guys love it when we let them do all the talking? Well, yes. Who doesn't like talking about themselves? But unless "good listener" is on the top of his must-have list for potential mates — and I've never met a man who places it there — he's not going to pick you just because you keep your mouth shut. Why You Should Never Fight When You're Furious
More from YourTango: 3 Mistakes To Stop Making If You Want A Grown-Up Love Story
Imagine him driving home and saying to himself, "That Susie was such a good listener. I can't wait to see her again!" The only guy who does that is the me-me-me-me guy. And who wants him, anyway?
When you meet a man you like, he should drive home saying to himself, "That Susie is so interesting and fun to be with … She is so positive, thoughtful, clever…and we both like [fill-in-the-blank]. I can't wait to see her again!" However, he cannot do that unless you give him the information to form the opinion, right?
If you are one of the many women for whom this does not come naturally, I have three things you can do to start developing the skill of creating conversation that gets you dates.
1. Know yourself. Here's a pop-quiz: name five things about yourself that you think men would think are impressive, interesting or just plain lovely. Go on, I'll wait. Bored In Bed? 3 Ways To Spice Up Your Relationship
You see, most women can't do this. In fact most women are convinced they don't have five special things about them. That's just nonsense. You needn't have cured a disease or saved someone's life to have bragging rights.
I guarantee you that 99% of the men you meet haven't scaled Mt. Rushmore and don't speak seven languages. Just like them, there is a multitude of things that make you unique and attractive to the right guy. So get to work on figuring out what they are so you can talk about it!
2. Speak in headlines, not stories. Your story will attract the right guy; you just have to know how to tell it. Among the top complaints men have about us gorgeous beings is that we talk too much. Can you believe it?
Men's brains are wired differently than ours. Information comes in and is processed in a straight line, and they stay focused on the end of that line. What is the result or, in the case of conversation with us, the point?
More from YourTango: 40+ And In A Dating Rut? 3 Simple Steps To Get You Moving Forward
When men are out scouting prey (that's us!) here's what they do: Is it there? No. Is it there? No. Is it there? No. And they repeat this until they find it and conquer it. Here is what a man does not do: Is it there? No…but, oh look…there is a really pretty tree!
This is why our yappity-yap can absolutely drive them insane and, out of self-preservation, they turn off. So, when you're sharing about yourself – especially when you first meet — short, simple accounts do the trick. Kissing 101: Comfort, Compatibility & Communication