Find out why forgiveness might just be the most powerful emotion of all.
Jaylee made her way slowly across my office and into a chair. As she began to tell her story, silent tears coursed down her face and fell onto hands clasped tightly in her lap. Here is Jaylee's story:
Several years before, Jaylee had returned home early from a meeting to discover her husband in bed with the babysitter. "I have tried to get over it," she said. "We got a new bed and redecorated the room. We went to counseling. I have tried everything, but nothing has worked. Every time I look at him all I can see in my mind is the two of them in our bed amidst disheveled sheets." 3 Mistakes Women Make When They Suspect Cheating
"Have you tried changing the picture in your mind?" I asked. "Every time that old picture pops up, have you purposefully envisioned a new replacement picture?" She shook her head. "That psychological stuff does not work with me." I smiled. "It is brain function stuff." She rolled her eyes and continued. "As I said, I have tried everything, but nothing has helped. Finally, I told him to move out."
"How is that working?" I asked. Silence and more tears stream down her face. "It appears that you are still sad. It has been five years since the incident. What are you still sad about?" I asked Jaylee. In a nanosecond her entire demeanor changed. Her black eyes blazed fire and indignation. "What do you think I am sad about?" she shouted. "Are you a complete moron? He ruined my life. That is what I'm sad about!" Bad News: You Cheated. GREAT News: You Can Still Save Your Marriage
It also appeared that sadness was the least of her problems. For several minutes Jaylee raged about the injustice of life. After all, she had been a good wife and mother and did not deserve this. "Have you tried forgiving him?" I asked.
Shaking her head, Jaylee replied, "He asked me many times to forgive him, but it was all just too egregious. Now it is too late. He remarried last month. Besides, why should I forgive him? He does not deserve to be forgiven." "Should we not be forgiven for our faux pas?" I asked. "Faux pas!" Jaylee screamed. "Are you kidding me? What he did was absolutely unforgivable. He ruined my life!" "You could still forgive him," I said. "It is never too late. The person could have died, and you could still forgive."
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