What It Actually Means When A Guy Says He's Thinking About You
He says he's thinking about you — but what does that really mean?
Getty Let’s face it — men aren’t always the most articulate creatures. So when he tells you he’s thinking about you, you might have to do a little digging to figure out what he actually means.
If a guy in your life just told you that he’s thinking about you and you don’t know what to say, you’re in the right place. Reflect on your relationship with him and use this as a guide as you start translating “thinking of you” from Man to English.
What does it mean when a guy says he thinks about you?
1. He’s actually thinking about you.
Let’s start out with giving him the benefit of the doubt. You are a confident, strong woman with a lot to offer, so it makes sense that he’s having a hard time getting you off of his mind.
Guys don’t typically go around telling people they’ve been thinking about them for no reason, so if you have a good relationship with him in the first place, he has a genuine interest in you, and he could be looking for something more in your relationship.
This type of “thinking of you” is a good sign he likes you, but he is either too nervous to come right out and say it or he wants to see where you stand before putting himself out there.
If you’re interested in seeing where this relationship could go, respond with something positive and encouraging. This will help him see that you feel the same way about him that he does about you and could give him enough confidence to tell you how he feels.
If you’re not interested, you’ll want to be straight up with him about it because leading him on will ruin your friendship.
2. He wants to sleep with you.
Since we’re being blunt, men don’t always think with their brains. And telling you he’s thinking about you could just be a way to get you to give him what he wants — sex.
This kind of guy is under the impression that you won’t catch on to his ulterior motives, but if that’s the case, he clearly doesn’t know you very well.
If in the past he’s been more of a booty call than someone you actually connect with, “thinking of you” is a sugar-coated way to initiate sex.
If you’re not looking for a one night stand, just ignore him. Girl, trust me, you don’t need this type of manipulation in your life.
3. He wants to start talking to you again.
Like the good ol’ "sending a random text and then saying it was for someone else" maneuver, saying “I’ve been thinking about you” could be a way for him to get you to start thinking about him again too.
If it’s been a while since you last talked, he might not know the best way to spark a conversation. He could also be worried that you’re upset that he hasn’t made an effort to contact you for so long.
If he tells you that you’ve been on his mind, you’ll probably feel more inclined to give him another chance than if he just texts “hey” out of the blue.
4. He wants to get back together.
If this is a guy you’ve dated in the past, a “thinking about you” message could easily mean that he wants to get back together.
If you dumped him, this is his way of sliding into your DMs and getting you to think about the good times you had together. He’s reminding you that he really was sweet (or at least he thinks so) and is asking you to give him a second chance to be your man.
If he dumped you, he has reached the post-breakup stage where he regrets breaking up with you. He is thinking about you and everything he did wrong in your relationship, and he’s probably a bit jealous of how you’ve moved on.
Either way, this could either be your chance to start over and try again or a way to show yourself that you really have moved on.
5. He’d rather be with you than anywhere else.
If your significant other texts to tell you he’s thinking about you, it means he’s missing you. This could be in a sexy or flirty way with a winky face attached.
Respond with something cute and flirty, letting him know you’re thinking about him too.
This could also be in a more somber way, like if he’s had a rough day and just wants to hold you tight.
Either way, a “thinking about you” text from your S.O. is a reminder that no matter what he’s doing, he’d rather be with you. You’re his person, and he loves you for it.
What to Say When a Guy Says He's Thinking About You
If you're not sure which mindset your guy is coming from, it's always a good idea to ask him.
Respond to him by asking him to clarify what he means. What situation made him think about you?
Knowing what happened to make you cross his mind is a good way to see exactly why he's thinking about you and let you know what next step to take.
Susie Grimshaw is a writer who covers love and relationship topics.