How To Stop Living Your Life Based On Your Fears
When we are fearful, we hold back on the things we want to do.
getty By Christina Donati
Is being completely fearless a possibility in life? Can someone live without worry?
I don’t think there is anyone out there who hasn’t experienced some type of fear, worry, anxiety, or guilt, but there are definitely people who are better at managing their fears than others.
For those of us who struggle with fear in life, here is a little bit of advice for you.
Here is why living your life based on fear is the worst thing you could do for yourself.
In an article written by himself, Dr. Tim Ong discusses characteristics of living a fear-driven life. In the article, Dr. Ong explains how there are many different faces of fear.
Dr. Ong says, “Fear can manifest itself in many forms and it can be directed inwardly towards ourselves or outward towards others. For example, anger and hatred are manifestations of fear that are directed outwardly at someone else, while guilt and shame are forms of fear directed inwardly at ourselves.”
In life, there are so many different things we can worry about. It is almost like the world presents us with a buffet table full of fearful options and we just keep filling up our plates until we are so full of fear that we can’t even function anymore.
There is a fear of loss, illness and disease, success, doubt, perseverance, commitment, guilt, and many others. The point is, all of these are different types of fear that we allow to control our lives.
When we take a trip to the fear buffet, we are harming ourselves in more ways than you could imagine. When we are fearful, we hold back on the things we want to do.
We tend to ask ourselves, “What if something happens while I’m gone?” or, “What if this doesn’t work out the way I want it to?” Therefore, we decide to not do the things we want in fear that there will be consequences for our actions.
However, the real consequence is that we are missing out on doing the things we want because we hold ourselves back too much to alleviate our fears.
But is holding back actually helping us? I don’t think so.
I believe that by holding back and giving into our fears, we are allowing them to grow stronger and have more control over our lives.
As Dr. Ong says, “Each time we allow our fear to manifest itself, we validate its ‘usefulness’ and perpetuate its tendency in our lives. As its grips on our lives become stronger, so is its power over us. As fear grows, love recedes for fear and love cannot co-exist together. They are mutually exclusive.”
So, how can we control our fears to be able to live our lives the way we desire to?
For me, the first step is to simply let go. We have to realize that there are some things in life we can’t change.
For example, no matter what, people will exit our lives due to death, and we can’t change that, so don’t let your fear of losing someone destroys your ability to live.
Another way to reduce our fears is to be aware that our concerns are even controlling us.
We have to acknowledge that there is a part of our lives that is diminishing our ability to experience and enjoy. Once we understand that our fears are getting in the way of our path to freedom, we can take the proper steps to alleviate it.
Fear is a burden to the lives of everyone, but there are ways we can control it instead of allowing it to control us. Once we master the concept of doing what we please without listening to our fears, we will be able to live our lives the way we have always desired.
Also, you will realize what a significant weight is released off of your shoulders as you experience all that you want. Shutting down your fear will lead you to the process of self-liberation.
Christina Donati is a writer whose work has been featured on Thought Catalog, Diply, Narcity, MTL Blog, and Unwritten. For more of her content, visit her author profile on Unwritten.