5 Signs You're In A Turbo Relationship & How To Make It Last, Even When Quarantine Ends
Love strong.
getty Quarantine has made it so that a couple can only be together in a more private setting because mostly everything is closed. Because of this, couples are talking more — and with all the increased stress of not working, riots, the pandemic, and more, people are drawn to each other for comfort more than usual.
For couples who've been together for a while, quarantine could either make or break their relationship, depending on how it affects the dynamic they're used to. On the other hand, some relationships only just started during quarantine — and these are now known as turbo relationships.
What is a turbo relationship?
A turbo relationship is a one that is very new, between a period of 3-6 months, that started and evolved quickly during the COVID-19 quarantine. Turbo relationships move super quickly through the major relationship steps than they normally would, given the space to do so.
According to Denna Babul, a Registered Nurse, relationship expert, and author of Love Strong: Change Your Narrative, Change Your Life, And Take Your Power Back, the biggest problem with these quarantine relationships is because they are at risk of falling apart once quarantine ends.
Couples in turbo relationships face problems centering around the speed in which they fall in love, expecting their partner to be totally up to speed on who each other are very quickly while true love is more about continuing to understand how to love a person.
Babul explains that a turbo relationship can be either stronger or weaker than a traditional relationship.
A turbo relationship can be stronger if a person is ready and open for someone who loves them. But it's also a great learning experience because every relationship we have teaches us something.
This type of relationship will only last if both partners stay true to their own core values in the partnership without compromising their beliefs. In a partnership, you should both have similar core values and not expect each other to change or compromise their own core values to be in a relationship.
Also, it's important that you know who you are on the inside because when you know yourself on the inside, you know what your dealbreakers are and what you will not put up with in a relationship. This will make your relationship stronger because you will have a clearer idea of what you are OK with and what you are not OK with.
Most importantly, if you are clear on what you want and are prepared for what you need, then you can be super clear about it to your significant other.
If the relationship is meant to be, then your relationship will evolve very quickly.
A turbo relationship is weaker than a traditional relationship is when someone is "loving weak," according to Babul.
There is a great difference between "loving strong and loving weak." Some examples of a partner who is loving weak include:
1. They make you question yourself.
2. You act out in anger to be heard.
3. You are full of fear.
4. You close yourself off.
5. They try to change who you are.
6. You feel out of control when you love weak.
But it is also important to remember that "most girls don't think about the feeling, they think about the situation and the bigger picture," said Babul. You have to keep in mind that a relationship based on strong love is where people restore and empower you, while they also treat you kindly and raise you up. They don't push you down, put you down, take away your power, and treat you badly in a weaker relationship, according to Babul.
Signs you're in a turbo relationship
As Babul explains, many turbo relationships started during quarantine just because the partners wanted the company while on lockdown.
Sometimes turbo relationships also happen out of boredom after a break up to quickly get out of a rebound. This happens because a person does not want to feel alone and spend quality time with another person that is into them.
Turbo relationships have many signs, according to Babul. They include:
1. Having relationship problems.
When you have relationship problems it's because you have not established your relationship on the best foundation. You must be willing to work through everything together as a couple because as things arise, it can get harder and harder to be with each other.
2. No one asks questions at the beginning.
Not asking questions at the beginning of a relationship keeps you from actually getting to know each other. You must ask questions so that you can learn about your partner and decide if this person is someone worth pursuing.
3. You throw caution to the wind and jump into a relationship without thinking it through.
When you just jump into a relationship without thinking, you may find that it's hot, but it may not last because you don't have that deeper connection that will keep your relationship going after that initial lust phase wears off.
4. You ignore red flags.
Even when red flags are appearing in your relationship, you won't speak up. You just do not just say anything because you don't want to shake the dynamic you have with your partner.
You may find it easier to just let things that bother you go without saying anything because it's easier for you and you like what you have right now. You just want to keep the peace in your relationship, but is that something healthy?
5. You probably don't feel bad emotions in your relationship because you just wanted a connection with another person and company during this quarantine period.
Since we are all in a situation where we are alone most of the time or stuck in the house, we are quick to become lonely because we crave human connection. So, sometimes when you meet someone that you are attracted to and like spending time with, you may gloss over some of the negativities and red flags just because you want a connection and to spend time with someone on a romantic level.
Babul explains that there are lots of serotonin and hormones being released when you are attracted to someone and they can sometimes make you act in ways you normally wouldn't. You talk yourself into believing and saying it's a safe relationship, and you start rationalizing your relationship by thinking, "they are into me and I am into them, so why not?"
This is the time where emotionally, you are feeling unstoppable as you search for that elusive type of love that you are yearning for.
During the coronavirus pandemic, we have a lot more time on our hands than usual. So, with your schedule being so much more flexible and open, people have the chance to really sit down and get to know someone on a deeper level. For us, as people who crave a human connection, we are getting to know each other quickly and you figure out ways to develop your relationship into something bigger and better.
Because you may not have anything else to do at the moment, you are probably spending more time together than normal. Usually, in relationships, there are normal chances to have time apart, like with work and traveling. In this situation, there really is not any time for you to think about your relationship by yourself.
Babul explains that you are most likely excited because you have someone to hang out with but you don't get the excitement or the time to get to know each other while you are apart.
You won't have those feelings of elusiveness and secrecy about your partner because you are in closer quarters and can see them in their most comfortable environment.
But overall, turbo relationships cause couples to miss parts of the relationship phases like commitments and reality, among other important stages. It can cause issues because you don't have those defining moments when things became more than it was before.
So, turbo relationships are less transparent in where you are at on the relationship scale and you need to communicate with your partner a lot more if you feel unsure of where you both are at in your relationship.
How to make your turbo relationship last
During this quarantine period, it's important to put in the work to make your relationship strong enough to last after social distancing ends.
Here are some suggestions Babul gives to make help you establish a genuine relationship that will last when life returns to normal.
1. Understand dealbreakers for both you and your partner.
Knowing each other's limits is something very important in a relationship. It lets you know where the point of no return is and you can see if you are still compatible when you know each other's dealbreakers.
2. Figure out what are the ten or so most important things you need to feel loved.
Making a list of what you need from your partner in a relationship is very important because you need to know what you want and where you cannot settle. It's also better to know what you want before you enter a relationship so that you can tell your partner exactly what you want.
3. Know what you are looking for from this specific relationship.
The best case for what you want to happen is deciding what you would be ok with and how long you see your relationship lasting.
4. Figure out your core values.
You need to decide what is important to you because you don't want to get in a situation where you have to compromise your core values to stay in a relationship with this person.
5. Understand your fears.
It's also important to understand your fears about a relationship and to share them with your partner because they can sometimes put your fears to rest in the best possible way. But if they don't calm your fears, then they may not be right for you because they will not take the time to help you overcome your fears.
6. Take some personality or compatibility tests.
This will teach you how you are and who your partner is so you can learn to do the dance a little better. Your main goal is to heal and not hurt your significant other with your words. So, figuring out who your partner is in relation to who you are will help you learn how to talk to each other better in the long run.
So, take a chance at establishing a true relationship while you have the chance to get to know each other well while you spend time together without much distraction. Through the stress and struggles you may be facing, you can create a relationship that will give you hope for a better future.
Take the chance and see what happens but know what you want, because you must start a relationship on strong grounds where you know what you want and need in your relationship.
Most importantly, don't settle for something weak. Create a strong relationship like Babul suggests so that you can have something real after the pandemic ends.
Emily Francos is a writer who covers astrology, pop culture, and relationship topics.