8 Definite Signs The Person You’re Dealing With Is Being Genuine
Stop wasting time with fake people.
getty You are introduced to this nice new person and secretly hope they are not going to be yet another jerk like the ones you had to deal with in your personal life or at work. Enough with fake people!
You probably had your fair share with all kinds of fake people in your life. The ones who are all smiles and small talk and gossip as soon as you turn your back, the ones who are jealous, the narcissists, the entitled, the conceited, the backstabbers… The list goes on.
The problem with fake people is that they pass off as normal, you relate to them in your usual ways only to find out that the relationship didn’t work — they betrayed you, they abandoned you, they were inconsiderate, they ignored you, and all kinds of acts that point to one direction: they didn’t care about you. You long to find genuine people to associate with!
So how can you tell when someone is being genuine? According to the dictionary, the word genuine simply means sincere and honest. Basically, genuine people are those that mean what they say, say what they mean, and whose actions closely follow their words.
What are the signs of genuine people? Here’s a short list of what you should be looking for in an authentic person:
1. Genuine people don’t seek excessive attention.
They are not all about “me, me, me” and they don’t try to be the center of attention. They ask questions about you, they listen, they seem interested in your opinions and what you have to say.
2. They don’t try to impress you.
They don’t fake it. They don’t try too hard with their appearance, clothes, comments, lifestyle to show you how great they are. They do their own thing and enjoy it — and they ask you to join, just like that, for the fun of it.
For them it’s not about going to an expensive restaurant to impress you; it’s more doing what makes them happy so it may be taking you to the beach to collect seashells.
3. They are comfortable in their own skin.
They feel okay with themselves, with their body, mind, and spirit. They acknowledge their flaws but are not distracted by them. So they won’t talk your ear off about their new diet, exercise program, or a new way to their personal transformation.
4. They’re not concerned with being liked.
That’s an emotionally draining activity — and genuine people are able to experience the whole range of emotions. An extra plus is that they often have positive energy to spread around.
5. They do what they say and say what they mean.
Neat, huh? Part of being authentic is not maintaining a façade that’s been there as a window shop. Genuine people have their own informed opinions and stay true to them.
6. They practice what they preach.
They don’t just believe in what they say, they make it part of their routine behavior, part of who they are. They act it. The genuine person doesn’t just talk about the importance and value of friendship. Their actions show you that this is what they think.
7. They don’t judge.
They may comment, give you constructive feedback, tell you the truth in a respectful way, but genuine people won’t judge you for who you are. They know that judging has to do more with their insecurities and less with your shortcomings.
8. They are not insecure.
How’s that for a change? They don’t feed off your own insecurities and they are not there trying to suck the emotional life of others in order for them to feel better. They know and accept themselves and this shows in the way they treat you; as an equal, with respect, consideration, and kindness.
Liza Varvogli, MA, Ph.D., is a bilingual Harvard-trained psychologist, award-winning picture book author in her native Greece, and parenting seminar leader as well as parenting books author. Follow her on Facebook for more.