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You don't have to get in bed with him to build intimacy.
By Laura Lifshitz — Last updated on Jul 06, 2023
Intimacy isn’t solely about sex. Sure, sex counts an awful lot, but that’s not the only factor that goes into building an intimate and passionate relationship.
We all know you can have sex without real intimacy and connection, but how can you be intimate with a man beyond simply intercourse?
Here's how to be intimate without jumping into bed, and they are guaranteed to make his body ache just a little.
Here are 10 simple ways to show a man intimacy without jumping into bed:
1. Give each other a naked massage
Forget the clothes. Forget the half-clothed shoulder rubs. Get naked, both of you and give him a massage.
As he’s feeling your hands working his glutes, let your hair trail his back and your nipples hit his skin as well. Use plenty of oil unless he’s opposed and don’t put a timer on the situation. Allow it to happen for as long as he wants. Hopefully, he’ll return the favor.
2. Shave him
Straddle his lap and grab some shaving cream and a razor. Be sure to wear your sexiest lingerie, panties, and bra, or be naked. You decide.
Take your time. Give him a nice hot towel on his face. Go gently with each stroke of the razor. Tease him where your lips go. And as you sit on his lap, you might just squeeze him with your thighs or move suggestively. Just be careful — you’ve got a razor in your hands.
3. Dress and undress him
He may be a grown man, but I’m sure he’d love for you to dress and undress him. Start off the day by getting him together, and end the day by taking it off for him. I’m sure he’ll reward your efforts.
4. Serve him breakfast in bed
Serve him breakfast in bed in just your nightie. Join him and eat, too. Make sure you two stay in bed for at least an hour. He may not get tingly but he will be warm, fuzzy, and connected to the sweet angel who made him breakfast. The stomach is a powerful love tool, ladies!
5. Feed him dessert
What straight man wouldn’t want a hot, barely clothed female feeding him ice cream? Of course, the ladies would like this even more with a hot man doing the serving, but he’ll love your sweet treats.
6. Scratch his back until he falls asleep
Rough day? If he had a hard one, crawl into bed with him and scratch his back gently until he sleeps. Lay next to him, wrapping your legs around him, and scratch slowly and gently on his arms, back, stomach, and thighs.
7. Send racy text messages
It’s one thing to say you’re horny, but it’s another thing to send him a text that recounts an experience you two had together. It’s personal, it’s sexy, and it’s also romantic, even if it’s a raunchy romp you’re recounting.
8. Give him a scalp massage
Bad day at work? His football team lost? Is his mother bothering him? Let the top of his head get wet and give him a nice shampoo and scalp massage. Rub alongside his neck and ears, too.
Don’t rush, and if you can, use a peppermint-scented shampoo. It’s gender-neutral and wonderful for headaches and neck tension.
9. Have a romantic makeout session
Remember how exciting it was when you first tried something new with a partner? Allow him to just kiss you, and you him. Nothing else.
Tell him he’ll have to wait another hour, day, or week until he can have more. Just enjoy kissing all over his body. He will ache to no end but the intensity of the kissing and the buildup of an exciting tomorrow will really connect you two.
10. Allow him to return all of these favors
He’d love to shave you, especially the delicate areas. He’d love to massage your naked body. He’d love to tell you how much he loved the last time you two soaked your bed sheets. Allow him to give as much as you do — the give and take is what builds connection.
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Laura Lifshitz is a former MTV personality and Columbia University graduate currently writing about divorce, sex, women’s issues, fitness, parenting, and marriage. Her work has been featured on YourTango, New York Times, DivorceForce, Women’s Health, Working Mother, Pop Sugar, and more.