Sex

I Put A Vibrating Alarm Clock In My Vagina — And Now I Wake Up To An Orgasm Every Morning

Photo: Little Rooster
Does The Little Rooster Vibrating Alarm Clock Really Wake You Up With Orgasms?

I finally got my hands on my very own Little Rooster vibrating alarm clock!

Also known as "the orgasm alarm clock," this thing isn't only an accurate and effective system for ensuring punctuality, it's an accurate and effective vibrator.

I hate waking up. Ever. I know this probably isn't normal or healthy and is probably related to my depression, but if I could sleep for 12 hours a day I would do it with no regrets. Every morning I have to get up in order to do things like "make a living" or "interact socially with other humans" feels like a personal attack. 

At least, that's how I felt before going to bed with the Little Rooster for the first time.

I gotta admit, I was skeptical when I first wrote about this product last year. It seemed like a cute idea, but gimmicky more than anything else.  

RELATED: Put This Alarm Clock In Your Vagina And Wake Up To An Orgasm

Would I love to start every day waking up with an orgasm? Absolutely!

However, I didn't think the design seemed well-suited to someone like me — you know, a fat person who typically goes to sleep without wearing underwear. Neither of these things seemed conducive to the clock's design.

So you can imagine how delighted I was when it came to pass that the fine folks at Little Rooster announced they were releasing a "curvy" model of the product, making it easier for women of all shapes and sizes to wear it comfortably all night long.

Still had to put on underwear, though, so, there's that...

The Little Rooster kind of looks like a tiny pink shovel. There is a long piece (the handle, as it were) which you place between your labia and a flat rectangle (the head... of the shovel part) that presses up flat against your mons pubis. This is where you can see the little digital clock and set it accordingly.

Your underwear keeps the whole deal in place.

It's a weird feeling at first, especially if you are a stomach sleeper like me. The first couple of days I tried using it, sleeping Becca kept yanking it out and hurling across the room without awake Becca's knowledge. Poor little vibe!

By the third day, I had finally gotten used to the way it felt. 

RELATED: I Wore A Vibrator Around Town — And Let My Husband Control It

It seems, however, that I had not quite mastered the part about how to set the clock versus how to set the alarm clock.

It's pretty standard, with just two buttons, but I found it kind of tough to figure out the difference between a.m. and p.m. on the little sucker. When I first I woke up to my regular (read: evil) alarm clock to find the vibrator decidedly not vibrating, I realized I had accidentally set it to p.m. — a fact I then forgot until 7 p.m., when I thought my cat must be having some kind of episode in my bed, only to discover the busy bee of a vibrator doing its thing as I'd programmed it to.

Day four was when the magic happened.

I'm a likes-it-rough kind of girl, so I adjusted the vibrations to be pretty darn strong. When the "alarm" went off, the vibrations started and they felt awesome, though very gentle. It was enough to wake me, but I hardly thought it would be enough to make me orgasm.

That all changed when the intensity began to rise. Before I knew it, my toes were curling and I was clamping my mouth shut to keep from screeching in pleasure and terrifying my roommate. 

I honestly have not gone a day without using it since.

Having an orgasm when you wake up? That's better than a cup of coffee, if I'm being totally honest. I awake refreshed and relaxed, my brain flooded with feel-good chemicals going to all of the right places. It's a treat and a half. If you're someone who likes having morning sex, this sucker will be heaven for you.

If that's not a testimony to how much fun this thing is, then I don't know what is! 

Rebecca Jane Stokes is a sex, humor and lifestyle writer living in Brooklyn, New York with her cat, Batman. She hosts the sex, love, and dating advice show, Becca After Dark on YourTango's Facebook Page every Tuesday and Thursday at 10:20 pm Eastern. For more of her work, check out her Tumblr.