Photo: Getty
Are you just FWBs... or is there something more to it?
By Ossiana Tepfenhart
Written on Oct 28, 2020
Though I personally haven’t seen many healthy relationships start from these roots, many happy couples out there first started as a friends with benefits situation.
FWB relationships are supposed to stay casual, and they usually do. But the truth is that they can turn into something more.
Whether you want them to or not, feelings can and do get caught after you sleep with someone, and it’s not always something you can control. Even if they refuse to admit it, people often end up developing feelings for their FWBs.
Does my "friend with benefits" have feelings for me?
Sometimes FWBs move into murky waters where you're connection seems to be more than friends with benefits but not a relationship. Gray zones like that can be even more confusing than something that's purely casual.
While the easiest — and most accurate, to be honest — way to find out how the other person feels is to ask them, it's understandable to be concerned that having a DTR kind of talk like that could make things seem too serious and bring the whole thing crashing down.
Curious about whether your casual partner is into you that way?
These are 13 signs your FWB likes you as more than a friend with benefits and might even want a relationship with you.
1. They ask questions about your romantic life.
In particular, they may hint or pry in an attempt to find out if you have anyone else in mind.
A lot of guys might fish for information about where they stand with you before they ask you out. If he’s doing this, it’s a good indicator that he’s interested in you as more than an FWB and wants to know if he has any competition to worry about.
2. You’ve noticed them giving you “that look.”
Most girls can recognize when a guy is looking at her in a loving way. If he’s looking at you longingly, it could be that he’s longing for a relationship.
And if he gives you the Puss in Boots cute eyes look from Shrek, then you can automatically assume he wants you as a girlfriend.
3. They've started giving you gifts.
Guys don’t give gifts, even small ones, to girls who they deem to be “casual only” material. If he’s doing this, you might as well ask what’s up since he’s been itching to tell you for a while.
4. They've been trying to get you to go out and do something with them.
If he’s just FWBs and content with that, the entire span of his interest in you will stay in the “Netflix and chill” range of venues. A guy who is actually taking you out on dates is a guy who probably wants you as more than a friend.
5. They've invited you to meet their friends.
I shouldn’t have to tell you this since this is one of those things that’s considered a dating milestone for way more formal couples.
However, here it goes: if he’s trying to bring you around his friends, it's one of the major signs he likes you more than a friend with benefits.
6. They make a point of trying to show you awesome they are.
He cooks dinner for you. He talks about how he’s totally okay with you spending the night, or even buys you a toothbrush to keep at his place. Just saying, these are clues that he wants you to stick around more.
7. They never brings up other people around you, even if you talk about other people with them.
I’ve noticed that most guys want to talk about their conquests or the girls they’re pursuing and most will do that in front of the FWB, too.
As a result, this is a sign that there’s only one girl on his mind: you.
8. They've started trying to do “couples things” with you.
Though you've been careful to keep things strictly casual on your end, he ordered a Blue Apron kit. He got bottles of wine for an at-home tasting. He’s dying to give you a nice spa night.
Gestures like these suggest that he’s really trying hard to get you to see him as boyfriend material.
9. When you tell them you're interested in someone else, they pout or get jealous.
Though it’s true that some guys really do end up getting selfish and territorial, most of the time, when this happens, it’s a sign that your FWB has caught feelings for you.
This might be a good time to talk to him about what he’s feeling.
10. They hold you a little tighter than before or talk about how the two of you should run away somewhere together.
Guys get romantic fantasies, too, you know! If he’s doing this, it’s possibly because he’s starting to see himself as your boyfriend and he’s sharing his own idea of what romance means and should be with you.
11. You keep getting the feeling they want to tell you something but are afraid to.
This is most noticeable when paired with the puppy dog eyes. More often than not, when guys do this, it’s because they want to admit feelings but are afraid of looking vulnerable.
Since many guys tend to be worried about what to say, asking them what’s up can usually start a good dialogue about his feelings regarding the relationship.
12. They initially wanted to date you, but when you told them you only wanted something casual, they agreed.
This is something that both men and women do — go into FWB situations in hopes that they will end up in a relationship. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.
Either way, if he asked you out before, then you should be aware he probably still feels that way.
13. They've straight up asked you if you wanted to date.
Do you really need any other sign than this one? It’s as obvious as it gets.
If you're still not sure about whether or not your friend with benefits has feelings for you and wants this to become a real relationship, the best thing to do is ask.
You can keep things light by saying something like, "I saw an article about how sometimes people in friends with benefits situations sometimes get confused, so I thought I'd just check in with you to see if you're still seeing things between as casual or if anything has changed."
Be prepared for his response to go either way, and make sure you've checked in with yourself first so you're clear in your own mind about where you do and do not want things to go from here.
More for You:
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a Jack-of-all-trades writer based out of Red Bank, New Jersey. When she's not writing, she's drinking red wine and chilling with some cool cats. Follow her on Twitter for more.