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Feeling uneasy, less communication, and sudden selfishness could be signs your partner is growing tired of the relationship.
By Ossiana Tepfenhart — Last updated on May 18, 2023
At one point or another, almost everyone has been in a relationship where they are just fed up and over it.
It could be a friendship, a family connection, or a romantic connection that has just gone sour, but whatever kind of relationship it is, it’s just awful when someone gets tired of you.
In most cases, when we get fed up with a person, we tend to want to walk away. But from what I’ve seen, though, most do not. More often, people will either wait for the relationship to die naturally or wait until it’s more convenient for them to leave the other party behind.
If you're on the receiving end of this, you might want to know what signs to look for that he's tired of you and your relationship so you don't end up holding on for no reason.
The funny thing about being fed up with or tired of someone is that you often don’t realize how well they can hide it. Or, rather, I always found it strange how often people are blindsided when they hear that their partner is bored and done with them.
Is he tired of me?
The only sure fire way to know how someone else is felling is to ask them about it, but what if you aren't sure yet and don't want to ask before seeing some signs of a problem.
You'll know if your boyfriend is getting bored of you and is done with your relationships if you notice certain behaviors like too much excessive phone use, wandering eyes, or outside attractions getting in the way of your fun times.
These nonverbal cues can help you assess if you're stuck in a passionless relationship and it might be time to break up for good.
Signs He's Tired of You and Fed Up With the Relationship
Here's how to tell if someone (specifically, your boyfriend) is tired of you.
1. He's distant.
Any sort of affectionate display or discussion seems to annoy, repulse, or anger him.
When someone is really sick of a person, they don’t want to see that person. They don’t want snuggle up to that person, and they may even be just on the verge of snapping at that person. This is because they are sick of seeing them or even having to speak to them.
If you’ve become an obvious source of annoyance, he’s probably fed up with having you around.
2. He jokes about hurting you.
I’m a firm believer that a person’s jokes tell what is really on their mind. If he’s regularly joking about hitting you or leaving you, then there’s a good chance that he’s really pissed off with you to the point that he’s regularly thinking of hurting you.
3. You feel uneasy around him.
You feel like you have to tiptoe around him in order to keep the relationship going. A good way to figure out if he’s fed up with you is to check your gut feeling. If you get the feeling like you need to handle everything with care just to keep him from leaving or exploding, then it’s pretty likely that he’s fed up.
4. He's not communicating with you.
He used to complain or try to talk about issues in the relationship, but now, he’s stopped. Most girls I’ve met see the sudden end to complaining as a good thing, but it’s often a sign that the relationship died.
If a guy is trying to talk to you about something that is seriously bothering, he still believes that the relationship can be salvaged. If he stops trying to discuss it or attempt to make it better, it’s because he’s done trying to make it better and because he’s checked out of the relationship like last night’s hotel stay.
5. He has an icy demeanor.
Ever have to deal with someone that you hated? If so, you already probably knew that it’s really hard not to be cold towards them. If he’s got an icy disposition towards you these days, it could be one of the signs he's tired of you.
6. He's become consistently selfish.
Generally speaking, when a guy is totally done with a relationship, the relationship starts becoming all about him. He will only talk to you when it’s convenient for you, he will probably get super selfish in bed, and you will drop to his last priority.
This means that if you’re constantly feeling like you’re putting in all the effort, it’s probably because he’s over it.
7. He rages at you without warning.
Does he regularly lash out in anger of the littlest of things? This isn’t a good sign. At best, he’s fed up with you and the relationship. At worst, you’re dealing with an abuser. Either way, it’s time to call it quits.
8. If you try to approach him about his behavior, you either get stonewalled or he explodes.
A guy who still wants a relationship to exist will talk things out and do what he can to make sure that you two make it through. A guy who is totally fed up with you, on the other hand, will not.
The reason why is because he will not see any use in talking to you about it anymore. If you can’t get any answers out of him or he ignores you, it’s a sign that the relationship needs to come to a close.
9. His friends, who once were cordial to you, have started to be hateful toward you.
This is a bad sign. When this happens, it means that he’s been venting to his friends about you, and what he’s been saying about you isn’t the least bit nice.
When this happens, your relations with his friends are permanently wrecked and that means the relationship between the two of you probably won’t be salvageable anytime soon.
But you can make new friends that pay attention to you and don't give you disinterested responses. The same logic can be applied to a boyfriend or girlfriend or partner too.
10. He's spending less time with you.
It used to be that you were joined at the hip. Nowadays, it’s anything but! You literally have to fight to get him to reply to you via text, and he constantly cancels dates at the last minute. Sound familiar? If so, it’s a sign that he’s over you.
11. He’s asked you for space.
We all know what it means when a man wants space, and I shouldn’t have to tell you. Space is normal for every couple. But if your partner isn't looking forward to spending time with you, it means that you’re most likely going to have permanent time apart.
What to do if you think he's tired of you and the relationship
According to Dr. Susan Pazak, Clinical Psychologist and Relationship Coach, "A partner growing tired of a relationship is a common complaint I hear in my sessions individually and in couples coaching. The first step is to verbalize the concern and feelings associated. The awareness of your partner being tired will allow you to gather information and gain insight as to what is troubling about the relationship. It is important to dig deeper and ask your partner “what are you tired of?”
Once the specifics are identified then that is a problem with a solution and change can begin.
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Ossiana Tepfenhart is a Jack-of-all-trades writer based out of Red Bank, New Jersey. When she's not writing, she's drinking red wine and chilling with some cool cats.