You can do this, April!
Is it just me or does everyone kind of collectively sigh when you get a notification that "April the giraffe could be giving birth any minute?"
At first, it was fun to watch alongside thousands of others waiting on this baby giraffe.
Now I'm just pissed.
Because I follow several news outlets, I get about two notifications an hour to "check in on April."
Which is totally cool if you're into that, but when I see that coveted little red mark attached to the little globe icon on Facebook, I will admit I get excited.
Did someone comment on my new article?
Did someone 'love' the newest picture of my son?
No and no.
It's that damn giraffe.
"Don't you guys have jobs to go to?"
*Me talking to Siri this morning*
"Has April the giraffe had her baby yet yes or no?"
"April, why are you faking this pregnancy?"
"Me waiting on a giraffe to give birth."
"Hoof or poop?"
"2017 remake of The Truman Show."
"I want a man to look at me the way Oliver looks at April."
"When you fakin' a pregnancy to keep him ... and now everyone waitin' for the baby."
"I think it's time we accept that April the giraffe just has gas."
"Hey United, where's my Dr.? He's supposed to deliver this frigging baby!"
"When someone asks how long you've been watching April the giraffe: Picture it. Sicily, 1912"
"April the giraffe, you said you were pregnant. Millions of webcam viewers have determined that was a lie."
"Plot twist: April the giraffe isn't even pregnant and mainstream media is just seeing how much time we'll waste watching a giraffe in real time."
"I'm watching you ... watching me."
"Pretty sure April lied to Dr. Tim about the first day of her last period."
"Breaking: April the giraffe admits faking pregnancy to try and force Geoffrey from ToysRUs into marrying her."
"My first day watching April the giraffe 'moments away from giving birth.' Me now ..."