If you're going to do it, do it right.
So you’ve heard about this Sugar Daddy thing and you’re curious. Perhaps you’ve got tuition to pay or a little mouth to feed, or you’ve got a penchant for expensive things — whatever it is, the Sugar Daddy lifestyle can support it.
I have a history of Sugar Daddy relationships and am a therapist by trade, so I can speak to exactly what you need to do in order to get a Sugar Daddy and happily maintain him. I’ve been on the prowl for a decade when it comes to Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby relationships and truly understand the dynamics of your lean wallet and his fat stacks of cash. What it boils down to is you getting those fat stacks.
In this article, I will disclose the secrets of the Sugar Daddy world because I believe more women should be capitalizing on their assets, whatever they deem those to be.
First, let’s review a few key characteristics that compose a good Sugar Baby.
- You need to like older men, first and foremost.
- Have a bit of a Daddy complex, that always helps.
- You need to be legitimately turned-on by your Sugar Daddy, not faking it.
- You need to be empowered, confident, and smart to make this relationship successful and not get used in the process.
Girls who are insecure, looking to make a quick buck, or looking for someone to fully support them for nothing in return are not good Sugar Baby material.
You may be looking for a legitimate emotional connection. That’s fine. Serious relationships can be had in Sugar Daddy land. Just keep your wits about you and don’t fall for the first Sugar Daddy who comes into your world.
Above all, you want to be well-educated and classy rather than jobless, unmotivated, and missing your front teeth.
Here’s a quick run-down of the tools you need to accomplish your goal of getting a Sugar Daddy:
1. Get hot.
You need to be well-groomed and somewhat polished in order to get a Sugar Daddy. Consult with someone who understands clothing about what looks good on your body type.
Shave, wax, color, cut — do what you need to do to appear to have your shit together. Work out and kick your body into high gear.
Think Ann Taylor rather than Express. Think Calvin Klein rather than Charlotte Russe.
Play to your assets and avoid your flaws. For example, I have a ridiculous rack and nice legs but a bit of a white girl butt (flat and small), so I wear form-fitting skirts that show off my legs and sleeveless shirts to show off my breasts.
You almost don’t notice that I’m missing an ass.
2. Find the right site.
Go to Seeking Arrangement or Established Men for access to willing and able Sugar Daddy’s. These are both reputable sites owned by the folks who run Ashley Madison, another site that is friendly to female interests.
Sites to avoid? Ostensibly, all of the others. They tend to be geared toward escorts and Johns and other miscreants.
3. Put up a profile.
On that profile get a little spunky. SDs are usually CEOs, doctors, and entrepreneurs and they tend to be a bit older (40s, 50s, and 60s). In short, they like smart chicks and they’ve been around the block. If you follow my advice and get hot, you will be one of the coveted ... So let’s get going.
First, know what you’re selling. You might be arm candy, a potential sexual escapade, a dinner date, a great conversationalist or all of the above. If you don’t know what you’re selling, ask a friend how they perceive you and go from there.
Post a picture of yourself really, really made-up with good lighting as your main pic. Your face should look luminous, angelic, sexy, provocative — whatever it is that you’re selling. Also, post full body shots as secondary pics. Your assets need to be showing — lingerie shot and a shot in a nice cocktail dress will suffice.
Take the time to get classy lingerie (at least Victoria’s Secret) and pull out all the stops — stockings, bra, panties, high heels, va-va-voom hair. If you’re broke, go to Victoria’s Secret and try the shit on and take pictures of yourself in the dressing room.
Get a classy shift dress that shows off your legs and breasts. Do the same trick if you need to — go to a store, try the shit on, and bring your best friend with you to take some artsy shots.
Take some time with your profile information. Accurately fill out your proportions (do not lie — it will bite you in the ass). I usually kept my profile short and sweet because I wasn’t messing around.
Try something to the effect of this:
Why I’m here: “I’m not looking for someone to pay my bills. I have a Master’s Degree and a full-time job, thank you very much.”
What I’m looking for: “Someone to spoil the hell out of me. Someone to have fun with.”
One advantage of keeping your profile short and sweet is it allows you to be as much of a blank slate as possible. Sugar Daddies want malleable Sugar Babies they can easily incorporate into their lifestyle. They don’t want uptight, lunatic bitches with agendas.
By leaving out a lot of information you create an air of mystery — something men crave — and the opportunity for him to view you as the Sugar Baby he wants.
Note that I didn’t mention the word “arrangement” or anything related to money in the profile. That comes later, darlings, once some trust has been established. Let the adventure begin. You’re going to be swarmed with responses.
Which leads me to my next point …
4. Practice discernment.
Some dudes are on SD/SB sites because they want a hot girlfriend but are in no way prepared to compensate her for her time or spoil her adequately (jewels, furs, gowns, handbags, etc.). You can usually spot those guys a mile away.
Some dudes are on the sites because they’re looking for escorts/hookers. That’s all fine and dandy but to make it big in the Sugar Baby/Sugar Daddy world you need to distinguish yourself from such women.
YOU are an educated, witty, attractive female who wants to have fun. You will, of course, be easy to lay provided the right offer comes along.
Some dudes are on the sites because they have a moral agenda and are looking to exercise it. Guys who are looking for wives or “the one” are not for you. Steer clear of the moralizing high roller — he’s no fun at all.
Here’s the thing with Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby relationships. They’re not about love. They’re about money.
It always boils down to cash and what you’re going to get in exchange for being a hot, smart supplicant. Think of a “bottom” in an S&M relationship. Your Sugar Daddy is the top. He’s the one with the control issues otherwise he probably wouldn’t be looking for a Sugar Baby.
The first emails you'll receive from guys usually ask the same question your profile asked: “What are you looking for?”
Since you didn’t really answer the question, this is where you fill the dude in on what you’re really looking for — cash, stuff, travel, etc.
Remember that, generally, these guys are married. They usually have kids and businesses that require a lot of their time. They’re looking for someone to have fun with, to do deviant shit with, to break the mold of the man they have to be in their carefully constructed world with.
Successful men want to let go. They need to let go. And they do so in a highly structured way ... by getting a Sugar Baby.
5. Get honest with yourself about is the “P” word — prostitution.
If you are 100% honest about who you are and why you are doing this, things will go a lot more smoothly. You are selling your services for cash. This is akin to prostitution although you are dressing it up a bit.
I personally don’t see “prostitution” as a dirty word. I see it as a career choice. Choose your career with open eyes.
You are not Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.
You are not looking for Mr. Right. You’re looking for Mr. Right Now.
You are a fully-fleshed-out woman with a plan for her future that happens to involve a Sugar Daddy or two right now. This is not a way of life that isn’t sustainable. There’s nothing more pathetic than a 45-year-old Sugar Baby. Trust me.
A Sugar Daddy doesn’t want to be your only source of income. This distinguishes you from the common conception of a prostitute as well. You (hopefully) have other sources of income.
If you want a kick-ass wardrobe, Marc Jacobs handbags, La Perla lingerie, diamonds, vacations to fabulous sun-drenched places, and as much champagne/wine/cocktails as you can drink, you are in luck: This is a classic feature of the Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby relationship.
If you’re looking for cash then we’re talking about an “arrangement.”
And we’ll get into that next time …
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This article was originally published at Slutty Girl Problems. Reprinted with permission from the author.