Stretch it out.
Do your legs ever cramp up in the middle of sex? Do you find certain positions challenging? Can you feel your limited flexibility limiting the range of your sex life?
People hold on to a lot of stored tension in their bodies — tension that blocks the natural flow of sexual energy. By releasing the stored tension, you’ll enjoy more fulfilling sex, more powerful orgasms, and find it easier to last throughout you and your partner’s multi-hour sex sessions.
Here are 7 stretches for better sex that you should try. You can do this, right? Okay good.
1. Ankle-over-knee hip opener
Tightness in your hips is a common limiter of a deeply free and rewarding sex life. For this stretch, lie on your back on a comfortable surface, place the outside of your ankle just under your knee, at the top of your thigh. Interlock your fingers underneath your thigh, and gently pull your leg towards you.
Make sure you keep the toes of your overlapped leg engaged by pointing them towards your knee (to avoid injuring your bent knee). You should feel this stretch opening up your hip flexors. When you’ve sat in this position for 20-60 seconds, switch sides and do it with your other leg over the adjacent knee.
2. Bridge pose
This stretch is a multi-purpose beast. It stretches your chest, neck, and hips, and it strengthens your glutes, back, and hamstrings.
To execute the bridge pose, lie on your back on the ground (if the bare ground is too much, lie down on a yoga mat) with your feet shoulder width apart. Keep your neck and shoulders pretty firmly into the ground, while you lift your hips to the sky until your torso and thighs are a straight line.
3. Jaw massage
Few things are worse than getting a cramp in your jaw when you’re going down on your partner. But try this stretch for better oral sex. To give your jaw muscles more lasting power, and to avoid any neck, shoulder or jaw tension during the most intimate of acts, regularly massage your jaw by doing the following.
Open your mouth wide (but not forcibly wide) and massage the area around your jaw that roughly correspond to the bottom of your ears. You can either massage the area gently or consistently apply pressure with your fingers in the area and hold for 30 seconds (ie., acupressure) and then release.
4. Forward fold
To alleviate stored tension in your hamstrings, neck, and back, slowly fold your body forwards and allow yourself to hang loosely. You can grab on to your ankles/calves and pull yourself down further to increase the intensity of the stretch. Hold for 20-60 seconds, and feel free to do multiple rounds of this. This exercise is especially important for tall people or people who have sedentary lifestyles and/or sit at a desk in their day job.
5. The ultimate foot cramp alleviator
Years ago, before I started deep diving into health, nutrition, Taoist sexual philosophy, and all of that other good stuff, I would frequently get foot cramps during sex or immediately after having an orgasm. Which sucked, because foot cramps suck and they really kill the mood.
To alleviate stored tension in your feet (which, believe me, you likely have a lot more of than you might assume you do) spend a few minutes per day stepping on either a golf ball or a spiky acupressure ball (like this one). You’ll be amazed at a few things.
You’ll be amazed how much stored tension is actually in your foot. You’ll be amazed at how crunchy the soles of your feet sound when you really start applying pressure to them. And you’ll be amazed at how much tension drops out of your entire body (and not just in your feet) when you release stored foot tension.
This is because a lot of the fascial tissue in your body connects to the soles of your feet. By releasing the pressure at this important focal point, you can alleviate tension in your neck, shoulders, lower back, and hamstrings by association. Sounds like magic, but it’s true.
Spend 1-3 minutes a day putting your weight on this little spiky ball, and you’ll have a more pain-free, tension-free existence in no time. (If cramping is a huge issue for you during sex, make sure you’re consuming magnesium, electrolytes, and drinking lots of water on a daily basis.)
6. Roped calf stretch
Calves and hamstrings are another common area of the body that stores a lot of tension that gets in the way of a flexibly free sex life. To give your calves a thorough and relaxing stretch, lie on your back, wrap your rope around the middle of your foot, extend your leg, and pull back gently on the rope with your hands.
Work with the positioning until you find a good stretch for you (always listen to your body, and don’t pull too hard) and allow yourself to sink into it for a good 20-60 seconds. Once you feel satisfied with one side, switch the rope to the other side and give the other leg a stretch. Doing your calf stretches regularly also gives you tangential benefits in your glutes, lower back, and neck.
7. Spiky ball rolling
The spiky ball isn’t just for relieving stored fascial tension in your feet, it can also be used all over your body for other common problem areas. Another place that people tend to store a lot of physical tension is in their hips and glutes (again, especially if you sit down a lot on a daily basis).
Either using a normal massage ball, or a spiky massage ball (the spiky ball is considerably more intense) roll out the tension in your hips and glutes in a slow and methodical way. Take deep breaths while you’re doing these tension-relieving poses. Allow your body weight to sink down and let gravity do the work for you.
Where Should You Start?
If you’re in the habit of regularly listening to your body, you’re likely already aware of which problem spots need the most love from you.
If your stored tension is primarily in your neck, start with tips 4 and 5.
If your stored tension is primarily in your glutes, start with tips 4 and 7.
If your stored tension is primarily in your back, start with tips 2 and 6.
This article was originally published at Jordan Gray Consulting. Reprinted with permission from the author.