The best way to BE with someone great is by BEING someone great.
Perhaps you’ve heard it said that the best way to attract a fabulous partner is to BE a fabulous partner. To take that principle a step further, if you want to attract someone who is magnificent “marriage material,” make sure that YOU are magnificent marriage material.
Here’s how to know if this applies to you:
1. You know the value of reliability.
This doesn’t mean you are predictable and not spontaneous; it means you follow through on what you say you’ll do. Many research studies on marital satisfaction confirm that this quality is vital over the years.
Being self-centered is a major turn-off, but genuine self-assurance is just the opposite—a major turn-on.
3. You know yourself inside and out.
People who are marriage material know their strengths and limitations, their likes and dislikes. They are aware of what they need and what they have to offer.
4. You love like you mean it.
5. And you live like you mean it.
No one accuses you of being blah. Every day has meaning and purpose, and you bring enthusiasm to all that you do.
6. You let kindness flow out of you.
People who are relationship material have an inner warmth and generous spirit that radiates out to those around them.
7. You respect yourself and others.
This is a two-way street: You fully expect to be treated with respect by others because you have a solid foundation of self-respect. Therefore, you show others the same kind of respect.
8. You have big dreams for a romantic relationship, but don’t have fairytale fantasies.
You want an epic love affair with your lifelong partner... and you know it’s going to take lots of hard work.
9. You don’t act dishonestly and don’t put up with it in others.
You know that deceitfulness of any kind destroys a crucial component of any relationship: trust. You hold yourself to a high standard in this area and will hold your love to the same standard.
10. You are “free and clear” to give your heart to the right person.
You’ve worked through lingering hurts from past relationships, and you’re not holding on to anyone. When the love of your life appears, you’ll be all in.
11. You’re willing to hold out for the best.
You may have dated several “good” partners but are waiting for the person who is a GREAT friend and lover for you.
12. You have sifted through your values and live accordingly.
This doesn’t mean you’re dogmatic or rigid—it means you’ve thought through the important issues of life and let your beliefs inform your daily decisions.
13. You’ve done the hard work of improving emotional health.
By addressing your hurts and hang-ups, you have prepared yourself for a fulfilling and lasting relationship.
14. You take good care of yourself physically.
It’s important to yourself and a potential partner that you attend to your physical health and appearance. You place a priority on exercise, grooming, nutrition, and overall health.
15. You know where you’re going.
Potential partners will be captivated because you are committed to growing, developing, and moving your life toward a grand goal.
This article was originally published at eHarmony. Reprinted with permission from the author.