Don't yuck someone else's yum!
When a dear friend of mine was pregnant and her belly finally "popped" she was stoked to shared photos of her baby bump with friends online.
I was just about to click "like" underneath her cute belly when a comment from a mutual friend popped up.
"Oh my god be so careful sharing these pics. There are perverts who jerk off to them."
Exactly what every happy and proud mom wants to read, right?
That her baby bump is inspiring perverted wanking....
Oh Facebook, where it's totally okay to say stuff like this to people you haven't spoken to since high school.
What the commenter in question was talking about is called preggophilia, or pregnancy fetishism.
What is preggophilia?
There is a real social stigma against people who are sexually attracted to women because they are pregnant.
Part of that is sexism.
According to society, woman who is pregnant is in the business of making a child and therefore can't be viewed as sexy or sexual.
The fact that there's a large group of people who disagree doesn't open the subject for debate, it makes them "weird" in the eyes of our society.
The other way sexism factors in in the child itself.
Why would a "normal" man want to have sex with a woman who is carrying another man's child? Surely that would make him feel emasculated?
These are essentially sexist viewpoints against both genders!
I interviewed a man who practices preggophilia (I'll call him Greg, though that is not his name.)
Sexism regarding his preferred kink has given him a world of grief.
"Men think there's something wrong with me, that I could have sex with a woman like that," he said. "But her carrying a baby that isn't mine doesn't say literally anything about me being a man."
And he's also bothered by all the sexism against pregnant women.
"The amount of women I've met whose husbands have stopped having intercourse with them because they are pregnant is mind-blowing," said Greg. "A woman's body changes into something new and beautiful when she's pregnant and if her husband can't see that, he's been f*cked up by our society. Plus he's missing some hot sex."
The other thing that causes people to run to judge people who practice preggophilia, is the fact that a pregnant woman will eventually give birth to a child.
These people confuse the men who are attracted to the pregnant women as men who are actually attracted to children.
That could not be further from the truth.
"If anything," says Greg, "in my mind, being attracted to a pregnant woman is the total opposite of being attracted to children. I am attracted to adult women doing something only adult women can do. I'm not mentally ill or disturbed, I know what I like."
Like most kinks, as long as preggophilia is practiced responsibly and with consent, it is not for us to screw up our little noses and go "eeeeeew!"
Do I relish the idea of someone being all about my heavily pregnant body?
No, but then I know a lot of what I get up in bed wouldn't appeal to a lot of other folks either.
I am sure there are men who practice preggophilia who steal photos of women from social media to sell or trade.
And probably men who steal photos of non-pregnant women to sell, trade or masturbate to, as well.
But that doesn't make every single person who is deeply attracted to pregnant women gross or bad.
It's not the masturbation that's the problem. It's the non-consensual nature of having our photos stolen.
So let's not confuse people who are into preggophilia with people who steal photos, ok?
We need to be accepting of other people's kinks. And we cannot call ourselves "sex-positive" if we are still judging others.
People who openly practice a kinky life have found a way of expressing themselves fully with their sexuality.
Some of them may have been in serious emotional distress before they discovered their personal kink, or that their fetish was healthy.
As a submissive, before I discovered BDSM, my relationships felt hollow and never seemed to last for very long.
If you are seriously worried that men who are obsessed with pregnant women are trolling your FB looking for pics of you in form-fitting tee-shirts, change your privacy settings. It's that simple.
But by and large, the members of this kink community aren't just sexually attracted to pregnant women, they RESPECT pregnant women, they RESPECT how hard pregnancy is, and they feel HONORED to be able to make a pregnant woman feel beautiful, sexy, and desired.
In my mind, there's nothing even remotely wrong about that.