12 Love Poems For Women Who Think Romance Is BULLSH*T
Because who needs all that gushy stuff?
getty I am not a romantic person.
Don't get me wrong, if you want to festoon me with flowers or dump a box of chocolates in my lap, I won't be mad at it.
But if a guy were to compose me a love poem and then recite it?
I'd be more likely to swoon from shame than I would be to swoon from deep and abiding passion at his heartfelt gesture.
Just because I'm not a traditionally romantic woman, that doesn't mean I don't appreciate poetry.
If anything, when I find a love poem for her that isn't all about someone's throbbing member or how their hair looks like sunlight, I feel personally vindicated.
Because let's be real:
Poetry may be full of pure light and love, but love isn't always like that.
Sure those love poems for her that are designed to make a woman feel like a goddess have their place.
But I prefer a love poem for her that's going to point out the awkward, the uncomfortable, the funny, and the dark side of romance and love.
Just because I prefer to read a sweet ode about my vagina, that doesn't mean I don't know how to love or appreciate gestures of romance.
Love poems should be specific.
Sweet little poems are great for sweet women, but a more complicated, sarcastic eye-rolling dame deserves something a little bit different.
She deserves something like one of these totally hilarious and totally lovely poems for her!
1Love isn't a four letter word...but it should be!
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"I will break every
every fucking
clock on this earth
to prove
that we are
not bad timing."
2Every man in love is a bad poet.
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He said
"Your are beautiful"
I told him
"beautiful"
is a lazy and lousy way to describe me.
- Unknown
3Tolkien fans need love too.
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Beards can be red
Swords can glow blue
There's only one precious
And that must be you
- Unknown
4When romance becomes DAMN creepy
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I'm obsessed with love,
well with you,
but that sounds
more stalkery
and less poetic.
5Falling in love effin' HURTS.
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I didn't fall
for you.
You fucking tripped me.
- Unknown
6Nothing says love like vodka
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Roses are red
Violets are blue
Vodka is cheaper
than dinner for two.
- Unknown
7Smash dat ass!
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Roses are red
Hulk is green
I'd smash dat ass
If you know what I mean.
- Unknown
8Pizza once again conquers all.
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I like you
You like pizza
I am bad at poems
Kiss me.
- Unknown
9Love doesn't need logic.
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Roses are red
Violets are blue
Garlic bread
Blink 182
- Unknown
10Nothing says love like the Jazz Age!
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Sometimes
I want a quiet life.
Other times
I just want to go fucking Gatsby.
- Atticus
11Grumpy cat in love.
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Roses are red
Violets are blue
Faces like yours belong in the zoo.
But don't worry, I'll be there too.
Not in the cage.
But laughing at you.
- Unknown
12Love doesn't JUST take your breath away.
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He smiled
and all I could think
was
"Oh shit."
- Unknown