My eyes will always scan for yours across a room.
We know we can't be together. There are reasons, good reasons, that we'll always be apart. We both know them. We both accept them. We've resigned ourselves to lingering glances from across the room. That's all we have. That's all we'll ever have.
But just because we can't be together doesn't mean I won't love you.
I can love you without being with you. You can be in love with two people at the same time — everyone knows it. If love is a total willingness to give yourself to another person, you can love two people at once.
Just because you're willing to give yourself to another person doesn't mean that you have to, especially if you're prevented from doing it. We both know we're prevented from being with each other, now and in the future. It breaks my heart. But that doesn't mean I won't love you.
If love means putting another person before yourself, I'll love you. I will always put your needs before mine. We just both know what we need the most — each other — is exactly we can't have.
But I'll always be there for you. I'll always give you whatever I can give you, no matter what it costs me. No matter how much it hurts, and no matter who else it hurts, you'll always be one of the most important things in the world to me. I'll always wish I had more of a chance to put you before myself.
People think that just because two people aren't together, they aren't in love. But my eyes will always scan for yours in a crowded room. I will find them, and we'll both know: we still love each other.
There's a certain way of looking at someone that we'll never lose. There's a certain way of looking for someone — of finding them and holding their eyes, of locking glances and knowing each other completely — that we'll always have.
No matter who you're with. No matter who I'm with. I'll always be able to talk to you more honestly than I can talk to almost anyone in the world. I'll always be able to open up to you and I'll never be able to keep secrets from you. That's love.
I'll never be able to bear to lie to you. That's part of what this is about: We know we can't be together and I love you too much to lie about it.
If love is a kind of knowing, I will always love you. I'll always know your quirks, your little movements, the way you toss your bangs off your forehead or nibble on the end of your thumb. But I sldo know you deeper than that. I'll always know the way you sit up in bed. I'll always know the way certain things wound you, the way that others make you laugh. And if love is a kind of knowing, I know you through and through.
We can't be together. We can never be together. This is a kind of love, this truth: the kind of love we have to live with. The kind of love that I have to live with.
We'll never feel each other's arms around each other, never turn to each other in the dark of the night, never be there for each other in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer. That doesn't mean 'til death do us part.
My love for you will last and last, no matter what stands in its way. We'll both take other lovers. We'll both fall in love with someone else. We'll have to stand at arm's length and pretend we're mostly strangers.
But my eyes will find yours from across the room. We will see each other — really see each other. And we'll know.