This Man Got His Wedding Band Stuck ON HIS PENIS (Extremely NSFW)

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Someone definitely misunderstood what Beyoncé meant when she said to put a ring on it.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with experimenting in the bedroom, but some people always have to take things a little too far and ruin it for the rest of us who have to hear about it/see it on the internet later on.

This is definitely one of those things, so ladies, prepare yourselves; men, you might want to look away because this is pretty heinous.

A South African man, who will likely want to remain anonymous, was recently hospitalized for mistaking the term “c*ck ring” for his wedding band and proposed to his member. Yes, he liked it so much he put a ring on it.

For reasons unknown to us (because this relationship seems a bit abusive, TBH), his penis must have said yes, because he slipped his wedding ring over it and hours of pain-filled hospital visitation ensued.

By all reports in the South African Medical Journal, the man had a pretty big boo-boo and was hurting pretty badly (in agony, actually, and yes, duh) when he finally went to the hospital. Obviously, this is NSFW, so be forewarned if you’re scrolling as a coworker walks by.

The doctors were eventually able to get the marriage band off of the man’s tiny fiancé, but not for some time. The methods they used were a bit... barbaric, to say the least, but that’s what happens when people do pretty stupid things with their genitalia.

The medical journal goes on to describe in great detail the efforts made to save the unnamed man’s penis, but at least he was sedated while they worked. The ring was too buried in the flesh of his junk to release it by regular means because the swelling was “too excessive,” so they tried to saw the sucker off, but that didn’t work either because it made like Jack and wouldn’t let go. (Thick ring plus “excessive swelling” does not a good team make.)

Finally, the team of doctors had to uh... aspirate his penis, which is a fancy term for poking holes in it until the blood drains out. According to the journal, “multiple aspirations were applied” in order to finally remove the ring. There’s a mental image you can never forget.

The good news is, the man was released from the hospital after what was probably the most embarrassing three days of his life and is expected to make a full recovery. It’s almost certain that he learned his lesson in the worst possible way, so remember, when playing in the bedroom, make sure you’re being safe, not stupid.

 

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